New and confused!

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by DirtyPrettyThing., Sep 14, 2011.

  1. DirtyPrettyThing.

    DirtyPrettyThing. New Member

    Hey everyone :)
    Not quite sure if this is the place to introduce myself but anyway here I am.
    I'm Hana, 21, In a relationship with a wonderful man, Mommy also to my beautiful daughter :)

    Firstly I must say I LOVE THIS FORUM :) So glad I came across it. Its going to be great to talk openly with like minded people about bondage and the such been as its such a big part of my life yet know one but my partner (not even he knows to the full extent) my love for all things kinky.

    ANYWAY my problem...Well not problem, slight confusion. Really I just want to see if anyone's in the same boat.

    I consider myself a straight female, I've never had any sexual contact with a woman always been in relationships with men. From a really early age I knew I was into bondage, I've always like the idea of being tied up and dominated. When I was 15 I discovered internet porn and soon stumbled apon lesbian bondage and loved it. I love to fantasize about being dominated by a woman but would never do it in real life (Not because I have a problem with being gay, I'm just not) but then again it makes me wonder am I bisexual? Even though I don't want to do it in real life there must be something to it.

    I know that everyones sexuality is diffrent, there's probably no two identical and I'm not expecting aanyone to come up with all the ansers.
    Just wondering if anyone has experienced this?
  2. This is a very good question. I am certain you will find quite a variety of theories and ideas thrown in! Lets see what you get!

    Being a male and a dominant, I consider myself entirely heterosexual, and hold no interest in engaging in sexual intercourse with another male. However, I have involved myself in the past with males as they were submissive s. I exercised domination, bondage, torture and mentally deprived them as well. Though I used forms of genital control and punishment on them, it was not for orgasm on my part. Mentally sexually pleasing, perhaps. My domination was based purely on mental needs. In most cases it involved the male submissive's female partner in one form or another, in experiencing new aspects of bdsm. I am not turned on sexually by males, but when it comes to my dominant nature, I can work both male and females alike.

    So can one be interested in experiencing some form of bondage with another of the same gender, while it holds no interest sexually in that person.. I think so.
  3. DirtyPrettyThing.

    DirtyPrettyThing. New Member

    Yeah i totaly get where your coming from and it makes a lot of sence, thankyou :)

    Its hard to explain but what i think you mean (In my stupid terms), in relation to me a dominant figure is just that and it doesnt matter what sex they are. As long as their dominant and im submissive im happy haha! Its like i know im sexualy attracted to men and women dont turn me on but theres a little part of my brain that say's "aslong as your being dominated, let it happen."

    This is going to sound stupid to anyone else but it makes sence in my special little head haha :)
  4. Delightfully interpreted!
  5. DirtyPrettyThing.

    DirtyPrettyThing. New Member

    Glad i grasped that :)

    and thats going to be my new moto ive decided "Aslong as your being dominated, let it happen." haha.
  6. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    And many bisexuals report attraction to the same sex only in a particular circumstance. Many bi men insist that they enjoy sex with men but only emotionally bond with women. Lots of dominant men are willing to dominant men even though they identify as straight. Some women who identify as lesbians are occasionally willing to sleep with men, and of course lots of straight married men occasionally 'scratch an itch' with guys, or let guys suck them off. So it's not surprising at all that you might in this particular circumstance respond to a woman even though women do nothing for you at other times.
  7. DirtyPrettyThing.

    DirtyPrettyThing. New Member

    Ah im so new and nieve! I didnt know any of this! Thanks for that. I've been wondering about this for years and now its like poooooof right in front of my face lol.
  8. yourslave1

    yourslave1 New Member

    This question actually applies to me as well. I would class myself as straight, in that I have no sexual attraction to males or a desire to be in a relationship with one. However, in a Dom/sub situation, I enjoy being dominated by males as much as I do by females. I am perfectly happy to have sexual contact with a man in a BDSM context, but not outside that. I am perfectly happy to have sexual contact with females in any context though.
  9. It is excellent that there are these types of questions that come to light.. Clearing any confusion to actual contemplation resulting from these questions is very delightful! I enjoy it when we are challenged!
  10. sealy410

    sealy410 New Member

    I'm with you completely. I'm 18 and last year when I really figured out that i was into being dominated, I also realized that I like the idea of being dominated by a woman too, although I'm not bisexual or gay. I think part of it all is experimenting. You might think that you like the idea, until you try it and realize that it doesn't arouse you as much as you think. You said that you are married and if you want to try things with woman, you should ask your husband if it is alright with him (or what he thinks of the idea in general, if you haven't told him already), he might suggest you try it together, which could increase intimacy. You just never know until you try :)

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