Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Foreverbunny91, Dec 14, 2011.

  1. So the right to demand oral sex anytime is starting to work! Only issue is now E can't get enough... I suggested I do it while he was driving once- bad idea. LOL. Now he wants it almost everytime he drives! (Having generalized anxiety and a fear of car crashes, this poses a problem, but I figure it must be safe if it's not on a busy street, and he drives really cautious while I do it, so I have no reason not to trust him.) But it's all worth it:) He's STARTING to be more comfortable telling without asking. Doing things I'm not necessarily into that please my partner yields this weird sense of pride. It has nothing to do with submission- it's just I've never been able to do it before, so now it just feels really good I can do it without being angry afterwards. Tonight he had me giving him a blowjob like 5 times in a 2 hour period! He also had me perform some other sexual favors:D This was all during vanilla sex, but he did talk to me about how much Daddy loves his good little girl while I was going down on him and while we were having sex:D

    Also tried two new things: Deep throating and blowjobs while going through a drive thru. Deepthroating wasn't what I thought it would be like. He's got an average size penis, so swallowing anymore than the head isn't really possible. I got it down as far as I could, and didn't hurt or anything or make it so I couldn't breath... But I gag pretty bad when I come back up, and it really unsettles my tummy. He said it feels good, but he's not too into it and he doesn't want me to do anything uncomfortable. What a silly:)

    Then he wanted oral sex on the way home- slight objection then he told me to do it. Can't say no:) We decided to stop by Taco Bell, and I asked if we could keep going in the drive thru. (I've got a little exhibitionist in me. Teehee!) He was nervous about this, but then eventually decided it'd be okay. Sadly, he chickened out before we got up to the window:( I did realize that it may be breaking a few rules if the cashier saw us and did not consent to seeing such a sight- but he looked like a college boy, and it's not like he would see much, anyway, but me facedown in his lap:)

    He's also talked to me a little about his own submissive fantasies... Pretty much the same thing, except he added "Don't be too scared of doing something wrong- if you start making me uncomfortable, I can always say the safeword." He also said he's not really sure what he wants, yet, until we tries things out. So I guess I'll have to think up a variety of things to make my submissive little man:)
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  2. Knots

    Knots Member

    I think that's a technique thing and is quite learnable; do you honestly think that deep throat can only be given to people with small cocks? xd. My ickle slave (who is very petite and has a small mouth to match) practiced with non-penile objects (smaller than my penis, she really just wanted to get the technique right) for a bit before she did deep throat, and the first time she swallowed completely without gagging for half hour. So either your definition of "average" is "OMG IT'S A FUCKING MONSTER! CALL THE GUINESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS!!!" to everyone else or you've came to a conclusion a bit too early.
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2011
  3. JettOnly

    JettOnly Member

    Sounds like you are both doing well

    I think he was right about the drive tru, a bit in the poor boys face

    Sounds like you made a good start on the deep throat, if you were gagging on the way up then you got past the gag on the way down, just gotta try relaxing the throat on the way out

    To start with might be an idea to think of angles too, how your throat and his cock bend for you to get him into your actual throat

    The best position I have found is me on my back head over end of bed and him standing

    Although you have to trust he won't get carried away
    It's great for the angles and really feels like a dirty position too cos he has the power to just fuck your mouth and not care about you
    I know he won't do that, but its a vunerable feeling that he could
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  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    I'm glad it's working. Don't rush things. Assuming you see this as a LTR, you have your whole lifetime to see how dominant he gets, and hurrying things might create pressure or tension. So just enjoy this phase for a while and then ask him to take the next logical step (which is whatever gets you a little closer to your fantasies. Maybe ask him to be more verbal if that turns you on.)

    But let me give you three reasons why oral sex while driving is a problem.
    1) It increases the risk of a car accident. How many guys are going to keep their eyes open while orgasming. And you're not wearing a seat belt.
    2) The police tend to dislike this sort of thing.
    3) Going through toll booths and drive-throughs is forcing other people to participate in your activity without consent. Some people will be turned on by it, but others will be disgusted, humiliated, offended, and so on. You have a right to do whatever the two of you consent to (within the law, of course), but you don't have a right to force others to participate against their will. BDSM is based on consent, so in my opinion this is a form of abuse. And in the case of toll booths, you're dealing with people who are state workers, who can easily call up the sheriffs if they want to, and there are cameras catching your license plate numbers and proving what you were doing.
  5. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    Thank you Sebby, those are the things I wanted to say last night but was too not awake to.
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  6. Knots, I meant he was too small to get much past the head down my throat. For me, a "average" is 5-6 inches (no idea what that is in centimeters). Larger would go farther down my throat, and I understand you can swallow larger penises with practice:)

    Jett, I gag when it's out of my mouth... I also get stomach aches if I taste pre-ejaculatory fluid and think too much about it sometimes. This is rather difficult to manage outside of a scene, because I'm not in that wierd mindless state... But I'm managing.

    Sebastian and Smallest, I thought about that later. He never orgasms with oral sex (or really ever without me asking), but I am scared about crashes, and I had decided that oral sex through a drive thru was in violation of thw whole consent thing:( Uh and sheesh, have some faith in me! Toll booth workers? But that doesn't apply if you weren't planning on someone else encountering you? Just wondering...

    And are you ok, Smallest?
  7. Knots

    Knots Member

    That makes a bit more sense. Somewhere between 5-6 is indeed estimated as the "average", for the record.

    You need to take reasonable precautions not to involve others. I'm too sick to elongate this explanation, and frankly Sebastian does this one better than me anyway.
  8. Knots, it's not in need of much explaination- I did something without thinking about the impact on others, then I thought about it and realized I could have made someone rather uncomfortable, therefore will not do it again. But I do agree that Sebastian provides some of the most informative replies:)

    And I have some more updates! I have ordered the strap on set and silicone anal beads. E is really excited about this! He is really looking forward to getting pegged, and he gets this real cute childish excitement and affection when we talk about it followed sometimes by being really turned on:D I think being dominant comes more naturally to me than it does to E... And he probably makes a better submissive than I do... But I think with practice we'll get good at switching... Hopefully.

    Also asked him if he could tell me when to stop, as I don't like just stopping when my jaw gets sore but would rather him tell me to stop when he feels it's appropriate to give my jaw a break. This suggestion was met with profuse apologies for my jaw hurting. I told him that if I was uncomfortable enough I'd stop, but i'd prefer he told me when.
  9. So I just thought I'd give any interested parties another little update:)

    Two days ago, we were laying in bed just chatting (he lives with his socially conservative mother and his brother, so not many kinky things can go down there) and he had said "Uhm, could you do that one thing? I mean if you feel like it... It'd be nice." I looked at him and did nothing and said "Oh, I'm not really feeling like it." (He asked, he didn't tell... Which is what I'm trying to achieve here, if you jumped in late) Later I was smelling him and telling him I was kind of turned on. And he said, in a perfectly serious and commanding voice "I'll fuck you if you suck my penis."


    Okay, so maybe it's not THAT amazing, but it's definitely progress!! So down I went, and after a good 5 minutes, he said "One more minute, and I'll let you stop." Then he told me when to stop and we had some nice, wet sex:)

    I am also VERY happy that he's not using our "baby voice," which we normally speak to one another in (sometimes even when we're fighting), and during sex he uses it and ohmigosh- TOTAL turn-off and it definitely doesn't sound very dominating to me. So he's getting his old sexy, growly, manly sex voice back that he had when we first started dating. Super excited:)

    EDIT: And I forgot to add that I've been thinking more and more about my fantasies and different things. Performing for him with another woman wouldn't be so bad, if I had an audience (even if it was just her boyfriend or dom) and it did not involve oral sex or him having contact with her. I guess I like the idea of being used to compete... Of course, I would find this repulsive and disrespectful if any other man asked me to do such a thing... And I have memories of a man getting a good friend and I to compete for his affections (we were both 14), and thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach to this day, so it is quite odd that I'd start to fantasize about something like this. I suppose it's the safety net of knowing I can be used and in the end he will still respect me. I doubt he'd agree to this anytime soon (if ever), and I don't think I'm ready for it, anyway.

    I have also been reading about private and public parties. Not what I expected them to be... I think I'd like to go to noe and just kind of meet people and watch. (There is a rather radical city right next door, and I'm sure they will have BDSM gatherings of sorts if I look.) I suppose I'd also prefer not to go as it may be awkward. I know a lot of people don't think switches are for-real, and one of us going as dominant and one submissive in order to avoid judgement seems wrong. But perhaps there's tons of switches who go together just as a couple and don't really take on a D or s role for parties? Don't know until you try it, I guess... E would also probably never agree to this, at least not now. I think later I will see if I can interest him in going. Meeting others face-to-face like me would make me feel a lot better. Not having a sexual "in-group" of sorts is rather burdonsome.
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2011

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