Masters, were you introduced by gf or wife?

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by subbiemarie85, Mar 31, 2012.

  1. subbiemarie85

    subbiemarie85 New Member

    I'm pretty new to the scene, wanted to get my bf into a dom/sub relationship strictly for play time. I was thinking of starting out with him using wrist cuffs to tie me down. Maybe start to give him a feeling of dominance over me. I want him to start being a bit more dominant in the bedroom. How were you introduced to becoming a Master? Any advice on how he should be introduced?
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  2. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    Try the newcomer's FAQ, around halfway through there's a post on making your nice vanilla boyfriend into a dom.We were both pretty much equally into kink from the start, but I'll ask my master if he has anything to say.
  3. subbiemarie85

    subbiemarie85 New Member

    Thank you :)
  4. subbiemarie85

    subbiemarie85 New Member

    By the way love the, "dominant males depicted as moustache-twirling assholes"line in the NVP post. Ha!
  5. Revenance

    Revenance New Member

    As a formerly very vanilla guy who is now transitioning to a dominant, I have to say it takes some getting used to. If you read my rather lengthy post in the forums, you'll see I had a lot of issues with the transition, but the majority of my issues were driven by the inclusion of other people into the situation. If you're looking for your man to grow into a dominant in the privacy of your home, it shouldn't be as difficult as it might seem.

    Publicity aside, the things that took some getting used to for me were: being okay with semi-aggressively controlling my sub, being okay with calling her names like slut and whore (she likes it in the heat of sex, especially during role-playing, though I'm not crazy about calling her those things), inflicting mild pain like slapping or soft-choking, knowing that she honestly wants me to do what I want to do without worrying about whether or not she wants it.

    We started with role-playing non agressive scenes like teacher/student and horney babysitter. These situations gave me the feeling of being okay with controller her and telling her what to do. Then we tried a home invasion/rape scene. The first time, i felt like I was forcing meanness and aggressiveness. The second time it came a bit more natural. Now I like it, a lot.

    To put it in perspective, three months ago, I was completely foreign to BDSM and honestly a little scared of it. Last night, I was looking at porn. I didn't get a hard-on until I found a video of a dom controlling his sub. Unless your man is stubborn or has some really strong convictions, it's just a matter of slow exposing him to some of the softer things before moving towards the harder things, and also making it very clear that you WANT him to dominate you.

    Depending on how you want to approach him, it might be worth noting that the feeling you get from dominating your girl is unlike any other. My confidense level has shot up since I started dominating my girl, and every time I feel like I successfully dominated her and she liked it (in and out of bed), it's an invigorating feeling that makes me stand taller and hold my head up higher. Seriously, once I started dominating her, the confidense visibly showed on me and I actually started getting a lot more looks and flirts from people in general. Turns out confidense is one of the most attractive things for a woman. Who knew? :D

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