sillylittlepet
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killer rice, are you a spambot?
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Curious, how many of you...?
- Thread starter sluttysub
- Start date
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decoyicus
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seeing as his posts are all the same fucking thing I would think so
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sillylittlepet
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I think we should call him KILLER LICE
XD
XD
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praefect
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I had absolutely not a clue. Eventually I was hit over the head with a brick and suddenly everything from earliest childhood on fell into place.
The first time I had sex I realized that I had to take control if I wanted it to go my way. She was a virgin, too, and after 5 hours and like 500 attempts at penetration I got tired of her pushing me back because it hurt too much. I took control. I pinned her, and I penetrated, and I fucked her. I didn't last a minute, but the scar on my shoulder from where she bit down to not scream will likely last forever.
At no point this I consider this dominant, or an act of dominance. It was just the way things were.
Then years of secrets and relationships that were not fulfilling. Fantasies, so dark, so dangerous, so sadistic, so secret. Scratching at the surface of it with cuffs, and rope, and roleplay. Fighting with myself to make relationships work out, sacrificing of myself to do it.
It wasn't until I was in my early to mid 20s that I discovered that there is something like BDSM. That my fantasies aren't some rotten evil core within me that I had to suppress, hide, exterminate, fight... that it was something that people wanted, craved, needed. What I needed to give was a need for someone else to receive. Bondage, power exchange, control, dominance, sadism. There is a chained beast within, and I could feel it bear it's fangs with hunger when my mind turned to those fantasies. I named that place within me my cellar. Where my dark side lay. Chains and whips and tears and pleas and blood. And I started to let the inner beast out more, and more, and more, with my then long term girlfriend.
I literally bare my teeth, by the way, when I enter what I call domspace.
I am, right now, just thinking about it.
In any case, by partner in exploration of that side of me, she wasn't really submissive. She could play the part, but she didn't really believe it. Or, well, she was actually submissive, very deeply, but she never let me know.
She hid it very, very, very, very well. Nobody that knows her would ever see her as anything other than a lion. A conqueror. Never let it show, never let it out, and back then, my eyes were still shut to that. I hadn't had my moment yet of revelation. And for someone who is as dominant as I am it is a sexual orientation like being gay. Someone gay is never going to be really fulfilled in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. And as someone deeply dominant I wasn't happy in a relationship with someone who built up this magnificant masqurade of dominance, herself. I love my slaves, very much. But if if they stopped submitting to me I would no longer be able to find fulfillment in that relationship. That is how primary that need in me is. And I told them this.
The feeling of ownership is very much like love, by the way. The feeling of owning, and of being owned. It is a feeling of love, in a way. Just as strong, just as deep and just as good.
It really is wonderful.
I found that when I found my counterpart, and when I could open up fully, finally, and let go completely... those were months of mind blowing self revelation. For both of us. And revelations about others in my past. All the pieces came together. It was pretty darn awesome
Now it just is. It's like getting into a hot bath. At the beginning the water is scolding hot, but in time you don't feel it anymore. You become acclimated, used to it. I sometimes have to remind myself that ... well... to be aware, more, of the temperature of my relationships. To appreciate it for what it is. I think this is why people need to dive deeper and deeper. To feel that original kick again. Or maybe that's just me.
The first time I had sex I realized that I had to take control if I wanted it to go my way. She was a virgin, too, and after 5 hours and like 500 attempts at penetration I got tired of her pushing me back because it hurt too much. I took control. I pinned her, and I penetrated, and I fucked her. I didn't last a minute, but the scar on my shoulder from where she bit down to not scream will likely last forever.
At no point this I consider this dominant, or an act of dominance. It was just the way things were.
Then years of secrets and relationships that were not fulfilling. Fantasies, so dark, so dangerous, so sadistic, so secret. Scratching at the surface of it with cuffs, and rope, and roleplay. Fighting with myself to make relationships work out, sacrificing of myself to do it.
It wasn't until I was in my early to mid 20s that I discovered that there is something like BDSM. That my fantasies aren't some rotten evil core within me that I had to suppress, hide, exterminate, fight... that it was something that people wanted, craved, needed. What I needed to give was a need for someone else to receive. Bondage, power exchange, control, dominance, sadism. There is a chained beast within, and I could feel it bear it's fangs with hunger when my mind turned to those fantasies. I named that place within me my cellar. Where my dark side lay. Chains and whips and tears and pleas and blood. And I started to let the inner beast out more, and more, and more, with my then long term girlfriend.
I literally bare my teeth, by the way, when I enter what I call domspace.
I am, right now, just thinking about it.
In any case, by partner in exploration of that side of me, she wasn't really submissive. She could play the part, but she didn't really believe it. Or, well, she was actually submissive, very deeply, but she never let me know.
She hid it very, very, very, very well. Nobody that knows her would ever see her as anything other than a lion. A conqueror. Never let it show, never let it out, and back then, my eyes were still shut to that. I hadn't had my moment yet of revelation. And for someone who is as dominant as I am it is a sexual orientation like being gay. Someone gay is never going to be really fulfilled in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. And as someone deeply dominant I wasn't happy in a relationship with someone who built up this magnificant masqurade of dominance, herself. I love my slaves, very much. But if if they stopped submitting to me I would no longer be able to find fulfillment in that relationship. That is how primary that need in me is. And I told them this.
The feeling of ownership is very much like love, by the way. The feeling of owning, and of being owned. It is a feeling of love, in a way. Just as strong, just as deep and just as good.
It really is wonderful.
I found that when I found my counterpart, and when I could open up fully, finally, and let go completely... those were months of mind blowing self revelation. For both of us. And revelations about others in my past. All the pieces came together. It was pretty darn awesome
Now it just is. It's like getting into a hot bath. At the beginning the water is scolding hot, but in time you don't feel it anymore. You become acclimated, used to it. I sometimes have to remind myself that ... well... to be aware, more, of the temperature of my relationships. To appreciate it for what it is. I think this is why people need to dive deeper and deeper. To feel that original kick again. Or maybe that's just me.
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I was as young as 9 I think when I realised I felt "tingily" when being tied to a tree in a game of hide n seek. When found, we got tied to the tree. Even then I felt sexually aroused by the restriction. I am fairly dominant in my daily life, I think being sub in my sex life allows me to entertain the opposite. My partner is very submissive in daily life and enjoys dominating me in the bedroom. I am sooo lucky to have such an amazing partner who happens to enjoy being dominant.
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master jey
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Girls loved when I tied them up I loved it as well
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princedorian
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a) had a dream of being naked and chased by other boys from my playground
b) forgot about the dream and developed a fetish of lesbian slavery, after watching a wrestling match and fantasizing about the humiliating outcome for one of the contestants.
c) while still having lezdom fascinations, I again developed fantasies of being a slave to another boy/man
d) got into relationships with girls where I was a dominant male
e) ended up being a part-time slave of another man and occasional dominant boyfriend to a girl.
So, yeah, bdsm was with me since surprisingly early childhood days
f) Not so long ago, i started having dreams of being a gay-dom. Confusing?
b) forgot about the dream and developed a fetish of lesbian slavery, after watching a wrestling match and fantasizing about the humiliating outcome for one of the contestants.
c) while still having lezdom fascinations, I again developed fantasies of being a slave to another boy/man
d) got into relationships with girls where I was a dominant male
e) ended up being a part-time slave of another man and occasional dominant boyfriend to a girl.
So, yeah, bdsm was with me since surprisingly early childhood days
f) Not so long ago, i started having dreams of being a gay-dom. Confusing?
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Infinia
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I never really did i was always rebelious and never really dated (terrible terrible social skills i hide or insult people when i meet them). I did always prefer bondage or rough porn though. When i first started dating mistress i did find it came very instinctivly though i do like to push a bit now and then and give her a reason to discipline me lol.
As for my mistress she didn't know what bondage was even. she just like hurting people a bit and slapping girls asses.
As for my mistress she didn't know what bondage was even. she just like hurting people a bit and slapping girls asses.
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