Hello all, I am a dominant and sadistic man. I always presumed my darkest, deepest desires would go unfulfilled. Especially as I share a relationship with a more vanilla/dominant female, who struggles to be submissive no matter what. However, after much deliberation, I decided to go online to try and meet or connect with like-minded people... I ended up meeting a beautiful little submissive girl, who enjoyed giving pleasure and receiving pain. We only met once, but I felt quite besotted with her, I found myself acting like a bumbling fool, something I had managed to shake previously... Then things got intimate, and she was under my control, we toyed with bondage and rope play, spanking and role play etc... So, I had amazing night of bdsm sex with a younger female, which is exotic to me, as I have only ever been with women slightly older. And I decided to contact her a few days later, she did reply, but it was pretty cold, she didn't ask me anything or give me reason to respond further... So I didn't, we haven't spoke for 1 year exactly. So it's clear she's gone for good, but is it normal that I am still possessive of her? I feel like I owned her and now she's vanished? I now realise I had no true control over her at all and it's left me dazed and confused. I still feel plauged with feelings of jealousy, and questioning her personal and sexual life.. imagining her submitting to other men, making them feel the same way she did me.... Does anyone understand what I am going through? I honestly did not imagine loosing a sub would be so destructive. Sorry to vent, but this has been bottled up ever since.