sebastian
Active Member
MIRROR: Download from MEGA
Jealous is a common problem in less-than-monogamous relationships. Many BDSM relationships are not monogamous, but many are. Some people are made for monogamy, some for non-monogamy/casual relationships, and some people can do both. So I'd advise you to think about what you really think about monogamy. Do you think you want a committed relationship, in which you're the only slave of your master, and he your only master? Do you want a relationship in which both of you can play with others? Do you want a relationship in which your master's superior status is reflected in the fact that he may play with others but you may not (or you need to get special permission)? Some subs like the humiliation of knowing that they must share their master, and others like the idea that their master is so insatiable that one partner isn't enough. Some subs enjoy having a brother/sister slave who can help encourage them, deepen their training, help support the master, or occasionally act as a dom or slave for the slave. All of these are possible options. So spend some time thing about what you want and what you think you can accept.
If you decide that you want a monogamous/exclusive/committed relationship with your master, have a long talk with him and be prepared to withdraw your submission if he's not prepared to give up his other slave(s). There's no shame in this. Your jealousy might be a sign that you're just not emotionally hardwired to share a partner (or not emotionally ready to do so at this point in your life and training as a sub).
But it's also possible that your jealousy is just social conditioning or insecurity. Our society teaches us to be possessive of our partners; there are few models for open-relationships in our society; they're the stuff of Hollywood scandals. Our cinematic heroes may agonize about which person they really love, but almost always the movie ends with the hero deciding that only one candidate is right for him/her. I've seen precious few films or tv shows willing to contemplate the idea that maybe our hero could have two loves-of-her-life at once. So give some thought to why it bothers you that your master has other slaves. Does you feel that it means he's going to give you up, or that you can't measure up to your competition? Do you crave more attention than he's giving you currently? These might be things you can work on. Your master might be able to give you more time. He might be able to offer more praise and re-assurance that you matter to him. Maybe what you offer him is very different from what the other slave offers him, and he likes both of you for different reasons. Would you be ok if you were his primary slave and the others take a back seat when you're free?
If you decide that you want a monogamous/exclusive/committed relationship with your master, have a long talk with him and be prepared to withdraw your submission if he's not prepared to give up his other slave(s). There's no shame in this. Your jealousy might be a sign that you're just not emotionally hardwired to share a partner (or not emotionally ready to do so at this point in your life and training as a sub).
But it's also possible that your jealousy is just social conditioning or insecurity. Our society teaches us to be possessive of our partners; there are few models for open-relationships in our society; they're the stuff of Hollywood scandals. Our cinematic heroes may agonize about which person they really love, but almost always the movie ends with the hero deciding that only one candidate is right for him/her. I've seen precious few films or tv shows willing to contemplate the idea that maybe our hero could have two loves-of-her-life at once. So give some thought to why it bothers you that your master has other slaves. Does you feel that it means he's going to give you up, or that you can't measure up to your competition? Do you crave more attention than he's giving you currently? These might be things you can work on. Your master might be able to give you more time. He might be able to offer more praise and re-assurance that you matter to him. Maybe what you offer him is very different from what the other slave offers him, and he likes both of you for different reasons. Would you be ok if you were his primary slave and the others take a back seat when you're free?
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