In need of domination


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Ok my dilemma is that I am completely devoted to being a sub but my boyfriend does not understand bdsm completely although I have tried to explain it to him. He does get rough during sex but I want so much more than sex play. For me its like domination is a need for me and without it I feel miserable. I have no limits that I know of thus far and I am even to the point of acting out so that maybe I can get some attention from him in the manner that I want even if it involves a punishment of some sort. I just need some pointers on how to make him more aware of these needs and of how important this is to me.
 
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sebastian

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Warning: don't read this if you're easily squicked out!

Sweet, trust me, you have limits. Many new subs think they don't have limits, but I guarantee you do. Just to provide a few examples of the more extreme forms of bdsm that you might hesitate at, some doms:
piss on the sub
shit on the sub
force the sub to eat shit
vomit on the sub
tattoo or brand the sub
cut and bleed the sub
scar the sub
suspend the sub by the breasts
temporarily asphyxiate the sub
keep the sub locked in a cage for long periods of time
mummify the sub for long periods of time
treat the sub as a piece of furniture for long periods of time
pass the sub around in a gang bang
force the sub into sex in what is virtually rape
force the sub to have sex with animals
require the sub to have sex on a web cam
require the sub to surrender control of the sub's bank account
require the sub to engage in prostitution
virtually brainwash the sub
use hypnosis to have sex with the sub without the sub remembering it
require the sub to engage in unsafe sex
require the sub to risk injury through pain play or extreme bondage
require the sub to risk loss of job, arrest, and so on through public humiliation or nudity
require the sub to wrestle or fight another sub until one is rendered unconscious
require the sub to do illegal drugs or get drunk before sex
require a hetero sub to have sex with a person of the same sex

I'm not saying that these actions are all morally equal or that some of them don't cross the line into out and out abuse, or that they're all safe and sane. But for better or worse, there are doms out there who do these things, and there are subs out there who enjoy them or are willing to accept them. So, depending on your dom, if you say you have no limits, you might wind up going very far down the bdsm rabbit hole indeed. In gay bdsm personals, it's very common for guys to specify "no kids, no women, no blood, no scat, no permanent marks". Personally, I find all of those limits eminently reasonable.
 
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L8NightQ

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sweet -
I know this thread started taking a bit of a turn, but....

Aside from reading the beginners thread, you might want to get him a book called "When someone you love is kinky".

Also, sillylittlepet has an post on that same thread about a website that has a section called "BDSM for nice guys". That would help too.

You were supposed to get back to us when you got through the thread.

You still here? Cause we got more.

Welcome.
 
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sebastian

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Well, it's really a question of whether an unsatisfying sex life outweighs the good elements of the rest of the relationship. If the kinky person knows going into the marriage that it will be vanilla and is willing to make that sacrifice, then it can be done. But yes, if someone is solidly vanilla, they are unlikely to grow into being kinky.
 
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kajmir

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At the risk of being a douche, why can't she have her bf and find an online master to help satisfy some of the urges she has.

Bf is happy and remains ignorant. She gets what she needs without the fustration and some dom happily has a plaything once in a while.

I admit this is not totally fair to her bf but on the other hand A lot don't even consider online stuff cheating.
 
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