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A few thoughts, in no particular order
1) Talk to him. Find out what turns him on, what makes him feel dominated, and so on. And when you are done with a session, ask him what he liked, what he didn't like, and what you could do better. BDSM requires communication, so talk, talk, talk.
2) Work on learning to feel dominant. This is probably the most challenging part of being a new dom, simply learning to have the confidence to make it work. Remember that subs want to be controlled, so once you know what turns him on, just tell him to do it. Don't ask; command. And no matter how well he's doing it, tell him it's not good enough. For example, if you know he likes being humiliated (which most sub guys do), order him to lick your boots (you do have some good domming boots, don't you? If not, buy a pair) like so: "Boy, get down there and lick my boots. Show me the respect I deserve. Boy, I'm not seeing much enthusiasm yet. If you don't start showing me how excited you are to be licking my boots, I'm going to get very angry!" As he's doing it, put your hand on the back of his head and press his face down into your boot. You can do variations on that speech with damn near anything you order him to do.
3) Figure out your domme persona, the persona that helps you feel dominant. Spend some time thinking about what sort of woman says "power" to you, and then try to be that woman. Are you a leather-clad bitch goddess? A slinky femme fetale? Angelina Jolie? A pirate queen? A cruel school teacher? A Roman lady with slaves? A medieval duchess with her faithful knight? And it doesn't matter if you don't have Angelina Jolie's lips and hips or the femme fetale's black hair. BDSM isn't about having a perfect body; it's much more about attitude. So decide which of these women you want to be for an evening and just try to figure out what toys, clothing, and accessories would make you feel like that woman, and then try to act the way she would act. Spend a little time fantasizing about how she would take control of a man, and then picture yourself doing those things. And remember, your bf is fantasizing about you being in control, so his imagination is already giving you bonus points that mean that he'll play into your fantasy persona and will overlook the small mistakes you make.
4) Another way to feel more confident is to read up on the techniques for the type of play you want to do. It's always easier to feel confident if you feel like you understand how to do what you want to do. So let's say you want to spank him. Spend some time reading up on how to spank; read about safety practices and techniques, and maybe practice them on a pillow first. That way when you actually put him over your knee, you'll feel like you have some idea what to do.
5) Give him some safe words to use (the FAQ explains what safe words are, if you don't know). Although safe words are important for subs, they are also useful for doms. If you're going to do pain play with him, for example, it helps to know that he will give you a safe word when things become too much. So until he says 'yellow', you know that he's ok with what you're doing, and that gives you room to keep going and get a little rougher. Don't keep asking "is this ok?"--that will undermine your dominance. If you do pain play, start very gentle and slowly get rougher.
6) Don't try to do everything all at once. Focus on one or two skills, like talking dirty and spanking him. Put your efforts into getting good at those few skills, and ask for feedback after each scene. When you start to feel like you're getting confident in those skills, add something new, like tit torture.
7) If you live near a community of any size, you can probably find your local munch or other bdsm community. Find a dom who is willing to mentor you, or a sub who is willing to let you practice on him. In particular, bondage is best learned from a teacher than from a textbook. Finding a mentor will really help, because you'll be able to see how he or she does a technique before you try it yourself.
8) If you are at all good at talking, try to develop your verbal domming skills; subs love being talked down to and nothing can help establish dominance faster than putting a boy in his place verbally. 'Boy, why are you still wearing clothes?" is a good opening line. A trick I use all the time is to tell him that you know what he's thinking. Even if you don't know, telling the boy what's going on in his head will put the idea into his head, and he'll feel like you can read his mind. Here's an example of what I do: "Boy, you're thinking about how it will feel to be kneeling in front of me, aren't you?" "Yes, sir" "Yeah, I thought so. Just the idea of that is getting you hard, isn't it?" "Yes sir." "Yeah, you boys are all the same. All I have to do is start talking aggressively to you and your pathetic cock starts responding." If the boy tells you that you're wrong, that he's not thinking about kneeling in front of you, get angry. "What do you mean you're not thinking about kneeling in front of me? Do you think you deserve to stand in my presence?" Or punish him for not thinking the right thing. "Well, I guess you don't want my attention yet. Go stand in the corner for 15 minutes and think about kneeling in front of me." Another trick I do with pain play is to talk to the boy about what I'm doing. "Oh, boy, your tits are really starting to hurt, aren't they?" "Yes sir." "It's starting to become too intense, isn't it?" "Yes sir." "Do you want me to stop?" "Yes sir." "That's too bad, because I'm not going to." If he says no, he doesn't want you to stop, say "That's good, because I'm not going to." Although a lot of doms are not great at the verbal game, I find that it's the best way to make a sub feel submissive. Remember, the brain is the largest sex organ.
Hope these ideas help you a little bit.
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