Hello, everyone. I am new to this site, and the reason why I came here is because I have no where else to go. I'm hoping that here, I can be myself, and not have to hide the fact that - I am what I am - and that none of you will judge me for it. So, here's my story. I am a submissive, and I follow the lifestyle out of my sexual relationship. I have only done this once. I am...picky, about the Master I have. I can be very agressive, very stubborn, and I need someone that will break me. I met him 6 years ago. We lived together for 4 years, and haven't been together for 2. We were both young when we started, and we didn't know how to solve alot of problems (with genral life) and it complicated our relationship. He was a good Master to me, but, I guess I didn't know my limits. Well, more like, I was afraid to tell him I'd reached that point. Stupid, stupid, stupid me. It got to the point where we were both out-of-control and I left him. And it's killing me. He's with someone, in a "normal" relationship, and we've stayed in casual contact over the years. I know that part of him, at least, misses the relationship that we had. Recently, I've participated in a threesome with him and his girl. I know that she knows a little bit about us, but I don't know if she knows how I feel. I can not allow myself to be close to another person, in the way that I want to be, because I can not find anyone as good as he was, or what I was looking for. I have tried, and it's been pleasent enough, but it doesn't compare to what we had. I am asking anyone for advice on this: I would like to continue to see him, or her, in whatever way they need me to be there for them. I still am very, connected?, to him, and weather he is with me or not, I still would like to be. I don't expect him, or push or talk about, him leaving her to be with me. I'm not hoping for it. I just want to be whatever he is in most need of. I want to know, is there anything I can do, that would make it easier on myself when I am not with him?