hiding wearing a butt plug from the wife

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by ButtPlugLover39, Sep 29, 2010.

  1. ButtPlugLover39

    ButtPlugLover39 New Member

    I like to wear a butt plug but the wife does not know and we have been married for about 8 years. How can I let her know about this and should I tell her at all? I would love to be able to wear it durning sex.
  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Sit down and have an honest, open conversation about what you want. Enjoying anal stimulation doesn't mean you're a closeted gay man--lots of straight guys like having things up their ass. But don't beat around the bush or try to get her to suggest it somehow; just be honest about something that arouses you. In any relationship, gay or straight, vanilla or kinky, there is no substitute for direct conversation.
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2010
  3. master jey

    master jey Moderator

    Open minded conversation is a key for everything!
  4. DR.HT

    DR.HT New Member

    Communicating is the key for any kind of relationship.
  5. L8NightQ

    L8NightQ Member

    BL39 - Welcome to the forum

    I'm going to go a different way with this one.

    While I almost always agree with Seb, I have no idea who your wife is and how she would react to you telling her this. I guess it depends on how you would articulate it and when. If she's homophobic it's gonna take a long time to get it right and could be disruptive.

    I think it would be best to ask her to play with your ass during sex. If and when she asks "why?", just tell her that it would stimulate you sexually, you're not gay, but that you'd been thinking about it (you liked doing it as a child), and ask her if she has a problem with it.
    If that works, move on the next step after a while, of wearing your piece.... But make it a small one to start (nothing shocking). Reveal more as needed based on "her" comfort level with what you're doing.

    I have thought about all the conversations you might have about this, but every opening salvo I can think of seems either uncomfortable or funny (sorry... maybe it's just me). My suggestion seems a bit more natural to me, and when sex is in the front of your brain, you're a lot more open to things then when just talking.

    In essence, I am recommending the same thing as Seb, M-Jey, and DR but with different timing, and with the notion that since you are married, you're gonna try to stay with her and keep the relationship as good as you can make it. In that spirit I think it's ok not to try to bring everything in at once. If she doesn't like it, you can put some of your secrets right back in your pocket. If you put it all out there and she thinks you're weird, you can't un-ring that bell. For me... I think it's ok to keep "some" things to myself.

    Lastly... If you're gonna ask your wife to play with your ass, make sure it's clean.
    Bad smells are a real turn off for me, and might be for her. You should be aware of this.
  6. master jey

    master jey Moderator

    Nothing a big enema can't help
  7. TerribleT

    TerribleT Member

    Bio-Bidet baby!
    Best $50 ever!
    I would try asking her to stimulate your prostate and (if she recoils in horror) offer the possibility of a but plug as a more sanitary, less kinky (for her) option. It's a manly enough request and it's (not so) common knowledge that having ones prostate gland stimulated during sex is big a turn on for some dudes.
  8. Tarynsslave

    Tarynsslave Member

    I would just be honest with her. If you've been married for almost a decade, I would doubt that she would have a particularly bad reaction.

    I remember talking to my first kink-open girlfriend about anal play and even though she poked a little fun at me for being interested in such a "dirty" and taboo subject, I was given a butt plug soon thereafter for Christmas... =P

    If you're open and honest with her, I wouldn't be too worried. I wish you the best of luck!

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