BDSM and abuse links.

subspace · Jul 8, 2009

Emma said:
But i know i read somewhere that a lot of subs have really stressful jobs or feel really overwhelmed in life and thats why they find it very therapuetic to just let someone else make their decisions and not have to worry about anything themselves other than just pleasing their doms. I know when i was self injuring i felt as i everything had just piled up on me and the only escape i had was to inflict pain on myself. When i cut the release was so soothing and i get a similar release from an orgasm so i think thats why sex has helped me.

I had a tough weekend, lots of stress and basically self blame as I trudge through therapy. So last night I was really looking forward to Top taking control and being able to 'relax' under his commands. Instead....he turned on me, stopped the play and asked me what I wanted. What I want? No, no not how this works! I refused to say what I wanted (I just wasn't in a good mind frame for this) so he deliberately picked something that is my least favorite. Not painful just not my favorite. This really affected me and keep me in a bad mood longer where as if he had just completely dominated me it would have stopped or alleviated some of my symptoms. I just couldn't help but think of this thread.
Thanks 'you know who' for all your support!

Emma · Jul 13, 2009

O i hate when that happens!! Im always like whatever you want to do is fine just do what you want and they keep asking and it just ruins it for me! Maybe just say it to him next time!

subspace · Jul 14, 2009

Emma said:
Maybe just say it to him next time!

You first Emma!

I can actually say what I want but only in very specific state of mind (subspace...anyone, anyone?), otherwise its not happening. The problem occurs when it is a request made seemingly out of the blue and surprises me. Happy to hear I am not the only one that has a problem with this!

Emma · Jul 15, 2009

Ha ha ye i guess i shouldnt say what i wont do myself! Although telling them to shut up and just fuck me seems to go down well the majority of the time, ha!

No defo not the only one!! I prefer to tell them over a txt or on the phone or whatever and then have them do it out of the blue and that way im getting what i want but the controlling aspect is still there if you get me!

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