Anal domination and Cum Play

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by lookingtolearn, May 27, 2010.

  1. lookingtolearn

    lookingtolearn New Member

    Hi, this is Charlotte, well thanks to you guys my boyfriend has gotten rougher, he even fulfilled one of my biggest fantasies, he spanked me and made me count and say: "Thank you master" after each one. He spanked me so hard, that I started crying, he freaked out, and thought he had hurt me, but when I explained it to him, he calmed down. We did it one more time after, I mean I just came thinking about it. Sorry I'm rambling again. Well we've tried me wearing a variety of different skirts, with and without panties and doing chores ranging from naked to different sexy outfits, and every time he gets incredibly turned on, and fucks me silly. If we're home, he'll bend me over and fuck me until I can't see much less think straight, and when we're outside often time, he'll find somewhere (not public that can be locked and everything of course) or rush us home, to fuck me blind, deaf and dumb. I love that, but how can I get him to do that, but also spank me a little, talk dirty to me about being a slut teasing him and others then brutally take my pussy and ass. This is the major problem first off, he wasn't comfortable with me even thinking about anal sex. I mean I know he'll love it, but how do I get him to try it. Am I not teasing him enough, I mean if I tease him enough, I can get him to do just about anything, but I feel wrong, guilty and ashamed after doing that for something big like this.

    Then I run into a logistical problem, he's huge... I mean he's just shy of 9 and 1/2 inches and in terms of girth my hand can only wrap around between 1/2 to 3/4 of his penis. So how would we go about it? Thanks a lot.
     
  2. lookingtolearn

    lookingtolearn New Member

    Cum play

    This is Charlotte again, hi. Well first off I want to start out by saying that Zack shoots quite a bit of cum when orgasms, and that I find it delicious. When his cum isn't in either my pussy or I don't drink it, it'll be somewhere on my body, whether it be my butt, my back, my breasts, hair, stomach, wherever... He loves that, seeing me covered in his cum turns him on like you wouldn't believe and he's ready for several more rounds. The thing is I have a fantasy of adding his cum to my diet. I mean he's perfectly okay with me drinking his cum after a blowjob or during sex. He loves eating me out, he says I taste delicious, but that's another story for another time. What I want to do is add his cum to my meal, for example if I'm eating fruit, I want that fruit to be covered in his cum, or whatever I'm eating to be covered in his cum. How can I get him into this? Thank for the help.

    P.S. Sorry to bother you guys so much, but I have a lot of different fantasies, I want to try, I mean the only thing keeping Zack from being perfect is that he's has trouble getting into things like this, I mean I love him so much, but there's so many things I want to try like anal play with him (his anus). Again sorry for bothering you guys so much.
     
  3. lookingtolearn

    lookingtolearn New Member

    Hey, this is Zack, I apologize for reading her comments, when Charlotte most likely wanted privacy, but I was curious... can you really blame me. I commented mostly because I saw the p.s. Please don't help her when it comes to anal play. I mean I am clenching in fear of the thought as we speak, there is no way I am trying that, I am a straight man, I've never had any thoughts of anything of the sort, and I will never have any. I refuse, to even entertain thoughts, about entertaining thoughts about anything like that.That will not happen. I apologize for being harsh, if there are any ladies reading this, but I just wanted to make that clear, I am not okay with trying that, again sorry for all of this.
     
  4. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    buy some anal plugs?

    conveniently have a bottle of lube lying around

    be especially naughty while on your period so he HAS to take you anally

    EDIT: looking, make sure your (master? boyfriend?) doesn't see this. we wouldnt want him to get any ideas XD
     
    Last edited: May 27, 2010
  5. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    wait... are you telling me its too gay for you (as a man) have sex with a woman?
    whoa, whoa, man, slow down. Here I always thought a man having anal sex with another man was the homosexual act! I never thought going into the anus was in and of itself an act that only gay men can perform.
    wow.
    my mind is blown.

    all teasing aside, I guess if anal isn't you thing then whatever. Some people have hard limits and those harm limits aren't going anywhere.

    okay, okay I have a great plan. Have a bowl of fruit, or some toast, or a salad nearby. Give him a blowjob. When he's about to cum, grab the bowl!! or spit the cum out onto your food. In all honesty, the latter is sounds disgusting to me, but I also enjoy being cummed on so I cant really judge you lol XD
    or maybe you could talk to him and try to convince him with some sexy underwear
     
  6. SubAnna

    SubAnna Member

    Personally I think anal play is awesome, but i guess different folks, different strokes.. but I guess it depends on why he wont do it? Have you asked him? Most people are quite apprehensive about anal because it is a bit of a taboo.. And trying to coax or "trick" him into doing it might backfire, cause once you have done it, I mean, you would want to do it again :p So you want him to be just as into it..
    Whatever you do, don't pester him with it.. I was not happy about anal play at first, and my ex-bf. constantly going on about it certainly didn't help.. That is probably the worst thing you could do.
    What worked for me was once I identified why I wouldnt do it, because he asked.. I thought it was "wrong", but it was more subconsciously. And honestly once i realized that, I just thought that it was a little silly, plus I was curious so I gave it a shot.. I ended up liking it, and even though we unfortunately never actually had anal sex (because we broke up) I own my share of butt plugs etc.. So I guess my point is.. I didnt want to do it, and now i love it, and with a new bf. I would definetely have anal sex too :)
    As for the logistical problem. You can slowly work your way up to taking quite a lot i think... I mean practice, lube, lube and a little bit of patience and Im sure it will work out with regards to the size - I mean you kind of learn to relax your muscles and stuff at the right time, and then it becomes easier..
     
  7. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Let's all repeat the Smplace mantra together: I will talk to my partner about what I want to do. Ok, class, again: I will talk to my partner about what I want to do. Very good, class!

    Seriously, in bdsm, the best way to get your fantasies met is to talk about them outside of sex. Do it in a calm, loving, and open manner. Explain what you want and why it turns you on, then ask him if he's willing to do it, and if not, why not. SubAnna is right--anal sex is something of a taboo for many people because it involves finding pleasure in the orifice that shit passes through. Consequently anal sex seems double dirty, both physically and morally. If his objection is the physical dirtiness, you can give yourself an enema beforehand. It's generally not necessary (I've done anal sex dozens of times and never done an enema), but many people will not do anal without one. Gay sex supply sites will almost always sell various douche devices, all of which will basically work to clean you out.

    If his objection is moral, you'll just have to ease him into the idea that the anus can be a place of pleasure and domination. Perhaps have him finger your ass during sex--no penile penetration, just probing with his index finger. As he does it, be vocal about how much you like what he's doing. Perhaps play up the sense of pleasure a little bit--don't fake an orgasm or whatever, but be a little more vocal than you might otherwise to. That should show him that you're really getting into what he's doing and encourage him to keep going and go a little further. Most guys like feeling that their partner is getting off on what they're doing, so when they get a good response, they double down.

    And SubAnna is also right when she says don't trick him into it somehow. That's a recipe for a blow up.

    Practice receiving a dildo or a butt plug. You might ask him to use it on you as a way of getting him comfortable with it. Use _lots_ of lube at first, for the period when you want your ass to get accustomed to being invaded. Once your ass gets used to be an in door, less lube is necessary, but always use some. When you first start to insert something, your sphincter will tighten up in resistence; do NOT force anything in at this point--you'll just really hurt yourself. Simply apply constant gentle pressure and after about a minute, the sphincter will start to tire of doing something it's not designed to do (keeping stuff out) and it will relax, at which point insertion gets easier. And then after the toy or cock passes the ring of the sphincter, it will suddenly slide in very easily. That's when the fun begins.
     
  8. Sate_Sprie

    Sate_Sprie Member

    Hahah. We should have a sticky entitled "Before you post anything read this" with that inside. ^_^

    Any who, like Sebastian said, the easiest way to get him to do it is to ask him. If you're adamant about tricking him into it though, write out a list of your fantasies and things you're interested in. I did that for Master, not to trick him but to be useuful and make things easier on him. We went over it together after he read through it. He may have learned some things. It would be worth a shot. ;)
     
  9. Sate_Sprie

    Sate_Sprie Member

    I had a whole post written out and my computer fucked me. -_-

    Anywho, I second Silly's idea. Also, I'm pretty sure you can store cum, so you could always save it for later and add it to what ever. You could probably do that out in public also.

    On a side note, once again, like Silly said, since when is anal play a homosexual act? I have always been told it's the ones that absolutely detest it and won't hear of it because they somehow think that it makes them seem gay, that you have to watch for.
     
  10. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Zack/Looking: What makes a sex act 'gay' is when two men are engaging in it. When a man and a women engage in the same act, it's 'straight'. There is no sex act that only gay men engage in. In fact, statistically, most anal sex is 'straight'. You might be worried about being the receptive/passive partner, but you're receptive/passive when Charlotte goes down on you, or when she's on top during vaginal sex. So if she pegs you (the term for a woman using a strap-on to do anal sex on a man), that's just another variation on things you probably already do. Some of the toughest, most masculine guys you'll ever meet love getting fucked, and they do it in very masculine ways, demanding their partner be more aggressive and serve their needs. Gay tops frequently force their subs to fuck them. So you can be masculine and aggressive and completely in charge while getting pegged. Or you can just relax, let Charlotte take the lead, and enjoy it.

    Now, let me give you a pitch for why you should do it. For men, the primary reason to do anal sex is to stimulate the prostate directly. When you receive a dildo or cock in your ass, it will rub against the prostate, and the feeling is amazing. Literally indescribable, but I'll try. When I get fucked properly, I get this sort of tingling feeling running up and down my spine. My cock gets rock hard and I cum very easily (far more easily than in any other situation). I start moaning uncontrollably. What specific feeling it is that does this I can't exactly say, but I love it. It is absolutely the most intense and physically pleasurable thing I know. The first two or three times I got fucked, it was ok, because my ass wasn't used to it yet. But once my body got used to it and I started really feeling the pleasure, hoo boy! I wanted it all the time.

    Man to man, I'm telling you, give it a try a couple of times before you decide it's not for you. I won't guarantee that it will be the best thing ever for you, because some men don't care for it one way or another. But tens of thousands of gay (and straight) men can't be wrong. There is a powerful form of pleasure there waiting for you.
     
  11. Martello

    Martello Member

  12. Martello

    Martello Member


    I keep reading you say this and it continues to be great advice!
     
  13. BernieD

    BernieD Member

    Well, i do agree with pretty much everyone here that anal play with a women is by no means gay. And also that his reason for not wanting to try isn't right.

    That being said, if he does not want to try it, i think it's his right not to. I personally dont think it's gay, but i would never try it, because to me, it would be one of the biggest turn-off possible, along the line of bestiality and shitting fetishes. I'm not saying here that those that do engage in anal play are animal molesters (or however you'd call them). But i'm saying that for some people, it's a horrible turn-off, one of the worse possible, and that he has the right to refuse doing something that he really doesn't want to. Everybody has a few things they really hate, that might be one of his.
     
  14. kittengrey

    kittengrey Member

    Well, I think since Zack already saw the comment having to do with cum availability for your food, you two will probably discuss how to do that.
    Now, as for the anal play, I really gotta tell you that you're looking at it wrong.
    It's not an act of homosexuality if a female sticks her finger/a dildo up a guy's ass. And I know personally that I found anal play to be intimidating at first. The thought of having something up my ass made me squirm. Then I tried it. You'd be surprised how good it really feels.
    As long as the anus is properly lubed, and you stretch it properly (use one finger and work it a little bit before gently and slowly adding a second one, or switching from a finger to a thin dildo) it is pretty damn enjoyable.
     
  15. Martello

    Martello Member

    Zack, I agree and disagree with your assessment of anal play. I'm aware no one has asked me for my opinion but it's become a topic unto itself so I would like to weigh in on it.

    I couldn't cares as to how many mess tell me anal play is stimulating, pleasurable or otherwise. Unless it is a medical procedure I will have nothing inserted in or around my ass - ever. I am all about the satisfaction of my partner sexually speaking. However, that is where I draw the line. It's not for any reasons that would entail a conflict in sexual preference. From my self perspective I would actually find it completely humiliating.

    I don't think a straight man as a homosexual if he does enjoy prostate and or anal play - more power to you. That just isn't for me what so ever.

    For people who are against it by and large in my experience like myself - this is not a "try it you'll love it" experience. I couldn't ever derive pleasure out of something I totally hated the thought of on a personal level.

    So, Zack - I hear you; loud and clear. But it doesn't at all make a guy gay for getting into it.
     

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