Obsidian
New Member
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I know this is a bit of a bad note to start on, but truth be told I'm genuinely concerned and the only other person in the scene I know is the cause of my concern.
Now that I may have found some people who can truly point me in the right direction, I don’t know how to say it.
The crux of the matter is that I'm afraid my D/s relationship is emotionally abusive.
I first realised I was a sub when I met my BF/Dom 2 years ago when I was 18 yrs old. To begin with it was what would be referred to as 'kinky sex' with a vanilla relationship, however as time went by it became more D/s, although not 24/7 (however much I would like to). I think the main reason for this is that for the first year there were issues, such as him cheating on and lying to me constantly.
In the last 6 months things reached a peak and then everything seemed to be ok, however about a month ago we had a discussion which worried me. Although he didn't say as much he gave the distinct impression that he had no respect for me and would do whatever he wanted because my feelings didn't matter to him. When I tried to explain that that upset me or try to resolve the problem he just refused to discuss it any further.
He also seems to have the opinion that as I’m a sub, he has the right to do whatever he pleases at my expense. I frequently feel used (not in a good way) and not cared for, as a sub should (so I have been told) I honestly love him and would do anything he asked. All I ask in return is that he loves me and is faithful to me, and when he asks something of me that I find difficult or even against my morals hat he be understanding of that. Nothing gives me more pleasure than pleasing him.
He says he loves me too, but when I try to bring these things up he says that if I were truly submissive then none of this would be an issue. Is that true? Or am I in an abusive relationship?
If I AM submissive and I’m in a bad relationship, I’m scared that I won’t be able to function in a healthy one…that I am ‘broken’ so to speak.
Faithfully,
Obsidian
PS: my apologies for any rules of etiquette I have broken: as I said, this is the first contact I have had with the BDSM community in general therefore I have not been told how I is acceptable for a sub to act around others in the scene.
Now that I may have found some people who can truly point me in the right direction, I don’t know how to say it.
The crux of the matter is that I'm afraid my D/s relationship is emotionally abusive.
I first realised I was a sub when I met my BF/Dom 2 years ago when I was 18 yrs old. To begin with it was what would be referred to as 'kinky sex' with a vanilla relationship, however as time went by it became more D/s, although not 24/7 (however much I would like to). I think the main reason for this is that for the first year there were issues, such as him cheating on and lying to me constantly.
In the last 6 months things reached a peak and then everything seemed to be ok, however about a month ago we had a discussion which worried me. Although he didn't say as much he gave the distinct impression that he had no respect for me and would do whatever he wanted because my feelings didn't matter to him. When I tried to explain that that upset me or try to resolve the problem he just refused to discuss it any further.
He also seems to have the opinion that as I’m a sub, he has the right to do whatever he pleases at my expense. I frequently feel used (not in a good way) and not cared for, as a sub should (so I have been told) I honestly love him and would do anything he asked. All I ask in return is that he loves me and is faithful to me, and when he asks something of me that I find difficult or even against my morals hat he be understanding of that. Nothing gives me more pleasure than pleasing him.
He says he loves me too, but when I try to bring these things up he says that if I were truly submissive then none of this would be an issue. Is that true? Or am I in an abusive relationship?
If I AM submissive and I’m in a bad relationship, I’m scared that I won’t be able to function in a healthy one…that I am ‘broken’ so to speak.
Faithfully,
Obsidian
PS: my apologies for any rules of etiquette I have broken: as I said, this is the first contact I have had with the BDSM community in general therefore I have not been told how I is acceptable for a sub to act around others in the scene.
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