Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by danikallstuff, Mar 6, 2014.

  1. danikallstuff

    danikallstuff New Member

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    my girl friend dont want to try toys, how to make her to do it?
  2. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

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    You don't 'make her.' You talk to her about it honestly, with why you think you both would like it, then you see if she's open to it. If she's not, you don't force it on her. If her not wanting to is a dealbreaker, end the relationship.
  3. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    Yeah, Smallest is right. In any relationship problem, the place to start is talking. Tell her what toy you want to use and what interests you about it. Ask her why she's reluctant to try it, and then listen closely to what she says. Maybe she's worried about it hurting--if so you can promise to give her a safe word to stop the play. You can promise to go slowly with it, so she can get used to it (in other words, if it's a dildo, play with it outside her body before inserting it--try rubbing it between her tits or her thighs , for example).

    Don't make it an object of dread. Make trying a new toy a fun little adventure. Ask her to try it once or twice, and after that if she still doesn't enjoy it, agree to leave it be and not use it unless she asks to.

    Also, if you're getting what you want when she agrees to try a toy, make sure that you agree to something she wants. Relationships are about compromise, after all. If she agrees to do something to please you, you need to make sure you're doing things to please her
  4. danikallstuff

    danikallstuff New Member

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    thank you for advise guys, we'll see what will happen.

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