My Master thinks im too controlling

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by hotgirl990, Apr 13, 2010.

  1. hotgirl990

    hotgirl990 New Member

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    My Master thinks im too controlling for some reason, and that really upsets me, i dont want to make it seem like that, how do i show him that im not because i know i am a true submissive?
  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    Could you provide a little more information? You haven't given enough to be able to comment on. Perhaps you could describe a situation in which he said that.
  3. Precious

    Precious Member

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    I agree with sebastian, we don't have much to go on to tell you whether or not your controlling, but i guess one example is you're asking the thread how to prove your not controlling to prove to him, meaning your in control of your proof. Ask him how to prove it, give him the choice
  4. L8NightQ

    L8NightQ Member

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    Dear Hotgirl -

    It has long been said that in most D/s scenes the sub is really controlling the situation.
    Sounds to me like you took that a little to literally.

    Is your master truly your master, or do you just call him that?
    I'm guessing that you're a little ahead of him, but he likes the idea and the experience, and just isn't in tune with your needs.... You know..... doesn't read you right, so you ask him for what you want, and ask him to work you a little harder (or longer).... This makes him feel two ways;
    1. Like he's doing something wrong
    2. Like you're to controlling

    There are two kinds of communication; Verbal and non-verbal.

    Give him some time to learn your reactions so you can reduce your instructions and adjustments.

    Have you ever tried a workshop - a non sexual (kinda) practice scene where he hits or flogs you and can learn your tolerances, or where he ties you and you can talk about it the tie location or tightness along the way... or you watch videos and talk about what's good and not so good and what you would like to try, except a little more like that.....etc, etc, etc.

    He doesn't know the difference with you when it comes to hurt and harm, or he isn't in tune with how much stimulation you need, or what kind. He wants to stay a little safe but you want to press it harder. He wants to fuck you right away and you want him to take you through your paces.

    I believe you when you say you are a submissive. It's obvious that he needs to be in tune with the kind of sub you are, and the kind of Dom he is.
    If you care about him, bring him in to your life in stages, even if means starting over. Only you can decide if it's worth it.

    My apologies, and never mind........ if I mis-read your post, but that's just what I saw.

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