Okay, some clarification would help here. Why is he mad at you? Are you doing things that you know will make him irritated or angry? If so, are you doing this deliberately to make him react as the dominant, or is this an ongoing problem? If they are things beyond your control, you may need to work out a way to handle them.
A common BDSM dynamic is for the sub to behave badly in order to receive "punishment". Although this seems to work for many people, it can lead to miscommunication and unhappiness unless both people are on the same wavelength. If your problem is of this type, making a distinction between "correction for improper behavior" and "sex play" may be helpful.
We now operate on the "all transgressions will be punished" system. For things beyond red's control, it's usually a mild swat or some other innocuous expression of displeasure. Transgression noted; transgression punished, it's over, life goes on. For things requiring true punishment (rare) she has the special strap. This is *her* strap; she picked it out, she bought it, she decided where she would keep it, she brings it to me when I need to use it, and she puts it back when I'm done with it. This helps keep "punishment" and "play" separated.
