physcial or mental

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by BloodW0rx, Jan 12, 2010.

  1. BloodW0rx

    BloodW0rx New Member

    Hey doms, subs, masters, slaves and everyone else!

    I'd like to ask you all a question about you're experiences and ideas in regards to how you think you're master or dom project themselves as being dominant. Would you say that it can be more about the way the dominant handles themselves e.g. talking confidently and always like they know whats best, or would you say someone who is very tall/muscular and can be very physically imposing factors more into feeling dominated?

    I can understand that often it's a combination of both and in certain situations for example, female dom/male sub, being more physically imposing can sometimes be hard. Would love to hear your views on the subject, from dominants and submissives alike.

    Here's a lovely image I found in my travels as thanks for your replies :D
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  2. EZRA

    EZRA Member

    For us it's definatly a mental thing.
    As you mentioned for a Dominatrix and her sub,it's not unusual for the sub to be bigger physically that the Dominatrix.
    In our case I am full head taller than her and also outweigh her by close to 130lbs.
    So her control is compleatly mental.
    Her control is so complete that it would never cross my mind to use my size and strength to overcome her.
    She dosent use restraints(she dosent like them anyway. personal taste).

    I have encountered some people who don't belive this is possible and in fact question the whole idea of Female Dominates based on the physical size differences.

    God help them if they ever cross my Mistress.

    I feel that most of what any Dominate dose is primarily mental anyway.
    It would be hard to restrain an unwilling sub.(not to mention illegal and abusive)
  3. master jey

    master jey Moderator

    i use more of phisical forse then mental i can do lot's of things thet can cause real pane
    when she's is dominant she uses more mental cuz she can't really hurt me as in azra's case (except balls)...she love's beating them...
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2010
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  4. Master Insomnium

    Master Insomnium New Member

    I think a combination of both does well. I find that worming your way into your sub's psyche will always intensify whatever you do physically. For instance, I have bad arches, so I spend a great deal of time sitting, and my slave knows this. However, whether I'm displeased, or just trying to project my authority I will stand, often arms crossed. Now I am a fairly big man, so just standing like that is intimidating enough, but when my slave considers how much I love a nice sit, it becomes even more dire. On a side note, I think people these days have forgotten the joy of a good sit, always have to be doing something in a chair besides sitting, what is that about?
  5. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

    I believe its all mental. For example, I'm not tall despite how i come off to people. however a friend of mine, whom I've known in real life for 6 years and who used to live with me (we were never in a bdsm relationship) realized just a few months ago, that she was actually taller then me... which she is by a full 6 inches.
    She said she always feels as if she has to look up to me. Shes not the first person to comment on this either. A persons confidence and self assured presence can often alter their appearance to those who view them. remember the mind interprets your surroundings using all elements of your senses.
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  6. subspace

    subspace Member

    I definitely agree that mental is the most important but having the knowledge that at any moment I could be easily over taken is very powerful and important to me. Of course being that I am 5 foot nothing this is not an issue. :p

    Oh and thanks for the pic. I love how she is strictly bound but by looking at her face you can see that she is serene and at peace.
  7. Sub4Life

    Sub4Life Member

    I think it is all mental. The way a man holds themself and acts is what I notice first.

    A man being tall, and muscular is just a bonus. I love tall men, and lean muscle (which is my Masters build) and I enjoy when a He pushes me around. (during sex, nothing abusive)

    But I beleive no matter how tall and strong someone is, if they dont have that personallity, the mental power, than they wont come off dominant. That's my opinion.
  8. EZRA

    EZRA Member

    sub4life-"I believe no matter how tall and strong someone is, if they don't have that personality, the mental power, than they wont come off dominant"

    I can personally attest to this.
    I always tell people that small children and dogs instantly know I'm harmless only adults are silly enough to be intimidated by me and only before they get to know me.
  9. master jey

    master jey Moderator


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