What do you look for in a BDSM partner?

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by hiskitten, Jan 23, 2012.

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  1. hiskitten

    hiskitten New Member


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    Hello. I was just curious to know what you look for in a partner. Whether you're looking for a submissive or dominant, what qualities do you like about that significant other?

    To submissives: What qualities do you want in your dominant?

    To Dominants: What qualities do you seek for in your submissive?

    I'm just curious as to what people want. Either message me or post here your response. And if you don't mind being "interviewed" I may have further questions
     
  2. Kor

    Kor Member


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    My requirements for a live-in would be considerably more detailed than for an occasional play partner.

    No real difference from a vanilla relationship. You can overlook many things in a lover or play partner because you don't have to put up with it all the time and it's not worth doing anything about. Over the long haul the sharp edges all have to get filed off unless you *like* being annoyed all the time.
     
  3. Anna2

    Anna2 Member


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    I think I would look for someone I hit it off with on a mental level first. If you're intelligent and I feel like we can have a conversation we might get somewhere. Then chemistry, passion. Then an interest in bdsm. It would be good if we are into the same stuff but if not there is plenty more to life, conversation being for me the first and foremost. (I'm a sub and that's my opinion).
    edited to add that I'm already married so for me it's kind of a moot point.
     
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2012
  4. RopeRanger

    RopeRanger Member


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    I agree with Anna2. When I was looking I spend quite a bit of time getting to know potential subs. There's so much to discuss up front that if you can't connect intellectually and then if there's no spark - that little something that make you enjoy the other person's company - then the relationship is not going to go any further for me. Then I look for someone that want's to explore. I want to test their limits and challenge my abilities: which like Kor says, pretty much sums up what I look for in a vanilla relationship
     
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