MIRROR: Download from MEGA
Hello! I'm new to smplace and the forums so I thought I'd kick off my introduction with a bang and really put to heart a question that's racked my brain for a fair amount of time.
Over the years I've read many articles, posts and the like that all prepare a submissive. Numerous tips on precautions to take for meeting someone for the first time, guidelines to orchestrating a scene, safe-words. The world within BDSM takes great care of subs in general; as well we should with the number of would-be dominants out there to contend with. But, having spent a long time composing a list of Rights and Expectations for a submissive I turned inward and asked myself a very difficult question: What were my rights as a Dom?
When you take a second to comprehend all that the statement entails, dwindling it down to a practical list (or any format for that matter) seems a daunting task. As a Dom, in a power exchange relationship aren't we effectively in control, our abilities only limited by our own personal taboos and, if our submissive has any taboos of their own (for instances, needle play w/ my partner is out for her fear of needles) then those as well? But our control isn't infinite, and I'd certainly want one of the first rights as a Dom to be the freedom to live out the aspects of a vanilla life without jeopardizing/altering status (the view a partner has of one's-self), to maintain the right to still be seen as man or woman w/ all the faults and short comings of being human.
To be fair, many a submissive wouldn't need for it to be explained- that a person, is still a person and will falter, will err and it is human... But, to be thorough its only fair to explore the rights and expectations from a Dom's POV.
So I ask: "What as a Dominate, if anything, can we arguably gauge we have the right to in and out of any scene?"
More importantly; what do we expect of ourselves as Dominants? What expectations do we place on a submissive consciously or subconscious?
(Not to disclude anyone, I ask: As a submissive have you ever been in a position where you felt the expectations of your Dom could have used more clarification? or felt that maybe in your own studies, the head-space of Dominants hasn't been very well mapped out and it'd be nice if someone put together a nifty little pamphlet?)
--Savelle
Over the years I've read many articles, posts and the like that all prepare a submissive. Numerous tips on precautions to take for meeting someone for the first time, guidelines to orchestrating a scene, safe-words. The world within BDSM takes great care of subs in general; as well we should with the number of would-be dominants out there to contend with. But, having spent a long time composing a list of Rights and Expectations for a submissive I turned inward and asked myself a very difficult question: What were my rights as a Dom?
When you take a second to comprehend all that the statement entails, dwindling it down to a practical list (or any format for that matter) seems a daunting task. As a Dom, in a power exchange relationship aren't we effectively in control, our abilities only limited by our own personal taboos and, if our submissive has any taboos of their own (for instances, needle play w/ my partner is out for her fear of needles) then those as well? But our control isn't infinite, and I'd certainly want one of the first rights as a Dom to be the freedom to live out the aspects of a vanilla life without jeopardizing/altering status (the view a partner has of one's-self), to maintain the right to still be seen as man or woman w/ all the faults and short comings of being human.
To be fair, many a submissive wouldn't need for it to be explained- that a person, is still a person and will falter, will err and it is human... But, to be thorough its only fair to explore the rights and expectations from a Dom's POV.
So I ask: "What as a Dominate, if anything, can we arguably gauge we have the right to in and out of any scene?"
More importantly; what do we expect of ourselves as Dominants? What expectations do we place on a submissive consciously or subconscious?
(Not to disclude anyone, I ask: As a submissive have you ever been in a position where you felt the expectations of your Dom could have used more clarification? or felt that maybe in your own studies, the head-space of Dominants hasn't been very well mapped out and it'd be nice if someone put together a nifty little pamphlet?)
--Savelle
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