Odd newbie question

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by sirslittleslut, Sep 13, 2011.

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  1. sirslittleslut

    sirslittleslut New Member

    My Husband and i just discovered BDSM recently and it has changed our lives! But an odd question arose between us the other day. How do we maintain our dynamic during my period. He's really always been turned off by it, and that hasn't changed. But as I said, it's changed our lives... so how do you alter the rules in a clear cut way that is specifically set aside for that particular week of the month? Help is so appreciated!:)
     
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  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Work out a special set of protocols for that time of the month. I assume you're his sub. So tell him when your period starts, and during that time, he knows not to use your vagina. To be vulgar, you have other holes he can focus his attention on during that time. Or he can focus on torturing your tits, spanking you, doing water sports, spanking, etc.

    Or perhaps you make a ritual out of apologizing that you can't offer him your pussy, and he disciplines you for not be available that way. After all, if there are 5-6 days of the month that he can't fuck you vaginally, that's 5-6 days of the month he has a built-in reason to discipline you.

    Do you like humiliation? Perhaps he insults you and mocks you for having a period, for being dirty, or for being defective.

    Just play around with alternative activities or incorporate your inability to serve him vaginally into your play. There are lots of options.
     
  3. subarama30

    subarama30 Member

    There is plenty you can do at the time of the month. My partner doesn't want to touch down there during my period and quite honestly I wouldn't want him to. I know some people still have sex and that but for me it's just gross.

    He just has to get more creative which is always fun ;)
     
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  4. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    I like Sebastian's idea of 'apologizing'. Elsewise, you can also serve him more nonsexually- cooking all his favourite things, and so on.
     
  5. Knots

    Knots Member

    We don't really know your dynamic as well as you do, so us making specific suggestions might well be pointless; you ultimately need to find a way which works within your dynamic, with activities that work for you.

    But since you want suggestions, I'll give two examples of approaches which others haven't yet:
    1. "You're useless to me" for those 5-6 days; literally, no attention/affection, you work to please/get it but he never gives until you're "fit" for duty again.
    2. Quite the opposite; treat it as a "sickness", and you get a loving master for 5-6 days, who looks after his "damaged" girl.

    Apologies if they're "extreme" or unorthodox, but that was rather the point xd.
     
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  6. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    I quite like your second suggestion, Knots. I'd like the first but I don't think I could take it.
     
  7. Knots

    Knots Member

    It can be kind of intense. If you couldn't cope with doing it for so long you could maybe do it for certain days (such as the first day, so you have to "persuade" your dom(me) to be patient with you and then actually go into my second suggestion). I can understand it being hard to take though, and I think idea itself is something people should probably be wary of.
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2011
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  8. kajmir

    kajmir Member

    Um...
    Why does your period matter? (no offence)
    But there is SOOOOO much more you can do...

    Not to be tacky...but realistically, a tampon to prevent any mess and anal still apply...
    Oral applies, bondage, your breasts, wax play...

    So you get your period...he comes home from work...after dinner and the kids are gone you kneel before him and "Apologize" in some sincere brief form and offer your...erm...oral abilities.

    Rather then the period being a negative it's now a ritual of oral...what guy minds that??

    Into spanking? incorperate it....or switch it for the oral...

    Same with anal...
     
  9. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    If her Dom doesn't like it, it matters :p You raise good points, Kajmir

    And Knots, man, I couldn't take it for a couple hours. I'd be sitting in a corner thinking I'd never be wanted again, even if it was play and we'd discussed it before. And then obviously we'd stop, but the point is that I'm a pansy for that sort of thing so it wouldn't work.

    I'm waiting for SLS to come back and let us know what she wants to try, or what vein. I'm curious now.
     
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  10. sirslittleslut

    sirslittleslut New Member

    Thank you all so much for the comments! He did alter the rules a little (ie instead of sleeping naked I sleep topless for that week) and we think with the help we've got it all figured out. I agree with the general consensus, I'm not sure I could take being punished or disregarded over something out of my control. I have to be available to Him at all times orally, and bring myself close to getting off twice a day for the whole time, but not cum at all until it's over and Sir says so.... gulp long week
     
  11. kajmir

    kajmir Member

    I'd be offended for being punished over a natural part of nature...
    I like fair punishment...like I actually did something wrong...

    And thank-you smallest.
     
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  12. Knots

    Knots Member

    It's not actually something I do, or even want to do; it's rather business as usual when my girl is on (though she might get a bit more affection).

    In truth, periods have never bothered me, so I don't need a solution to a "problem" which isn't there, but the OP islooking a fix so I threw the suggestions out there.
     
  13. {baby}<MT>

    {baby}<MT> New Member

    2. Quite the opposite; treat it as a "sickness", and you get a loving master for 5-6 days, who looks after his "damaged" girl.


    i like this, my Sir is always gentle, affectionate, nuturing and very very loving with me during this time.:D
    and i in return am on my best behaviour (i see him giving me time to rest as a privilege, one i would not like to be taken away)
     
  14. kajmir

    kajmir Member

    I didn't mean to imply others can't...I'm just saying me!
     
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