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Ok, so you want actual punishment, something to train her to not break your rules. The basic principle is that the punishment needs to be something that she doesn't like doing (although it shouldn't be something that pushes or violates her limits). Let's say she doesn't like being spanked. The next time she uses an unacceptable title, stop whatever she's doing and point out the offense to her. Ask her why she used the title she did, and ask her if she knew it was wrong to use it. Then tell her that her punishment is to receive 5 spanks from your hand. Make her tell you why she is being punished. Then put her over your knee and give her the 5 spanks (you might make her count them out and thank you after each spank). Then ask her if she is going to commit that offense again. Hopefully she says she won't. Tell her you trust that she will not do it again, but that if she does, she will get 10 spanks. And then don't mention the mistake again, unless and until she makes it again. Then repeat the ritual and impose the harsher penalty. The idea here is to force her to become conscious of her disobedience by enacting a ritual that focuses on it, and making the punishment unpleasant enough that she will remember it and seek to avoid it.
Exactly what the punishment should be is best tailored to her and what she actively likes and dislikes. Either A) force her to experience something she dislikes or B) deprive her of something she craves. Examples of A might be standing in a corner, cleaning the toilet (assuming that's not a current chore she has), apologizing to you in the presence of BDSM friends, getting spanked or tickled for a minute, and so on. Examples of B might be not being allowed to sleep in your bed for a week, being forced to wear ugly or unflattering clothing or not using make-up (if she prides herself on her appearance), have to serve you but not receiving a customary reward, not being allowed to read or go to a movie she wants to see, refusing to call her by her pet name, or refusing to do puppy play with her (if she enjoys that sort of play). In the case of denial, you might go through all the starting motions of play (putting on her puppy collar, etc.) and then explaining that because she was naughty, she doesn't get to do puppy play, and instead just has to kneel for 15 minutes.
Again, the central idea is to focus her attention on her offense, and draw a direct line from the offense to the punishment. Once she's been punished, however, you need to put it behind you unless it happens again. Many vanilla couples keep replaying their punishments ("how many times are you going to bring that up? I said I was sorry!"), and for a punishment to be truly effective, the sub has to believe that it has a clear end point. If it doesn't have an end, there's no reason to work hard to avoid it, because it can't be avoided, so why do the work?
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