A question concerning subs.

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Master C, Apr 2, 2009.

  1. Master C

    Master C Member

    I am thinking that either a sub or a master can answer this, however, more masters may be able to answer this better.

    When a sub misbehaves, how do you decide how severe to make the punishment? I know that my sub has been pulling a few underhanded tricks, and because of that, I am unsure how to punish her.

    The last time she got punished was because she pleaded for me to allow something, even after I said no. And other than what I did, and what I told her she had to do while she was that way. I didn't think I was being too hard on her, but after she started being underhanded, I am thinking I should make her punishment worse. Any ideas as to what I can have her do, or have done to her?
     
  2. Prissy

    Prissy Member

    ...
    Uh oh
    ...
     
  3. Nyx

    Nyx Member

    My top often makes me think up a suitable punishment. And if he thinks it's too lenient he'll increase the punishment.

    He's awfully fond of ice cubes, which he knows I hate. It probably depends on what will actually be considered a punishment by your sub.
     
  4. Master C

    Master C Member

    that's just it, nyx. She ins't responding the same way. I know she loves bondage, so when i use that for punishment, i make it painful. bu the last time even thugh she doesn't like telling others of her punishments, and since she was stiff and sore for the next three days, she never looked unhappy. she always did before when it hurt, and she had to tell.

    Edit: Yes Pet Prissy, it is uh oh for you.
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2009
  5. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

    if she has a fetish for bondage, it doesn't matter how painful you make it, because that's exactly what she's looking for to test her personal limits and boundaries. You have to ask yourself if you (as well as her) view your relationship as a BDSM or a D/s one. If its a bdsm arrangement, then she may only feel she needs to do as you say while acting out scenes, but if its a D/s relationship then your well within your realm to punish her. Just make sure your on the same page as she is in how you view things.

    I agree with Nyx on this. The punishment is going to very based on the sub. To judge the severity of the punishment, I often ask myself this question...

    "How does his/her action impact my overall outlook of the arrangement at this very moment in time, and how far does his/her action deviate from that vision?"

    I then rate it on a scale of 1 to 5, one being not so far and 5 being way off course. I then plot that on a graph chart to see if this is an improvement from the last punishment or not. Using that, I determine the appropriate course of action. If they keep repeating the same offense, and whipping them isnt causing them to improve on the graph, then I can see that whipping isn't getting my point a crossed, and therefore should move on to something else. Either way, the charts are up and posted on the wall for all subs to see, as well as a list of infractions and merits. It adds to a lack of privacy and the humiliation factor, as I feel that all punishments should be done in front of the subs peers if you have more then one, that way they can learn from each others mistakes, and the same goes for merits. If they do good, then they should be rewarded in front of their peers to encourage them as well.
     
  6. Interesdom

    Interesdom New Member

    Make it random - and don't enjoy it.

    It's a bit different for me when punishing my woman, because I'm not sadistic. That means that even a mild spanking can have huge effect, because the extent of my displeasure is obvious, and it is my unhappiness, my disappointment that carries more weight than anything else.

    That said, I believe in random punishment of random severity. I am not one to 'make the punishment fit the crime'. I learnt this from one woman who became sneaky with me until I woke up to it and realised that what was happening in her mind (and there's an important point, in itself) was that she was thinking along the lines of "if I do this, then he'll do that - and I can handle that." So I started changing the punishment and changing the severity. When a sub doesn't know what the punishment might be, nor how bad it will be, they are more likely to be honest, keen and obedient. Unless, of course, you have a strange one on your hands, which isn't so unlikely since we're all strange :).

    Try not to make it something you enjoy, any more than she will enjoy. If she is like most subs, at least part of her pleasure is in giving you pleasure, at whatever cost to you. So if you enjoy it, then she will be rewarded - which isn't the objective for a true punishment.

    I'm a hard bastard, I know! :eek:
     
  7. I like being spanked as much as the next girl, but there is a big difference between doing something that I know I shouldn't have and being punished and just being spanked or beaten. Master never hits as hard when I am being punished for misbehaving, but I always feel much worse when it is over because I can tell how disappointed he is. Maybe you should express your disappointment more.

    Also, when Master ignores me it drives me crazy and makes me feel as if I have done something really terrible. I am always anxious to fix things if he is so upset he is ignoring me. Maybe a time out in a quiet boring place after a tongue lashing would do the trick, it would work for me...
     
  8. Ms.sub13

    Ms.sub13 Member

    I agree with puppy3. I cannot stand when my master is not talking to me and acts like I am not there. I feel like I disappointed him and I will try anything to please him again even if it means punishing myself. I just want his attention back.
     
  9. Master C

    Master C Member

    Thanks for all the suggestions..., I think I know what to do this time.
     
  10. Prissy

    Prissy Member

    Humph..., does this mean my shennanigans are working master? I hope so! :)

    I am bored ever since you got that damned Wii. At least let me play if you are just going to leave me be to do as I please....
     
  11. Master C

    Master C Member

    Is this all about the wii, my pet? If tyhat is the case, then I am definitely going to have to do something more..., and I think I know what.
     
  12. Oh, if only they made a sex game for the Wii... :D

    What usually happens with me is that my master will think of an idea for a punishment, but tell me in advance so that I will be prepared for it. Although a completely unexpected punishment will obviously have a powerful effect, so will knowing that something extremely painful, or humiliating, is about to happen, especially if there is nothing they can do to stop it. It's as much about mind games as anything else.
     
  13. Prissy

    Prissy Member

    He did find something I hate, and he expanded on it. He knows I hate drool, so he bought me a whiffle ball gag, and it hurts, from being too tight, but did he have to force the drool?

    He also sid if I disobey him once more, I lose the computer for a long time
     
  14. Nyx

    Nyx Member

    A whiffle ball gag... that's ingenious.
    Haven't had to wear a gag yet, and I'm not sure I envy you!

    Try not to lose the computer, Prissy. ;-)
     
  15. Erm, what's a 'whiffle' ball gag? :confused:
     

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