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I've already expressed my feelings on this, and can only hope that our views, or what is basically one whole group view, will be given some serious thought at the very least.
As I think I already mentioned elsewhere, I was in a similar (although admittedly not quite as bad) situation several years ago, with another man. There were all sorts of issues surrounding the problems we (or rather he) had, which I'm a bit reluctant to air in public. If anyone is curious, then PM me.
Anyway, the point is, we had recently started experimenting with bondage and spankings, but it soon became clear that he was not fit to be doing this. He decided one day that he was going to punish me during a session, for something really serious that had occurred a few days earlier.
Now, I don't know what others of you will think about what I am about to say. I believe that in a non-24/7 BDSM relationship, serious issues that have nothing to do with BDSM should not be dragged into BDSM. Because if there is genuine anger involved, as with alcohol and drug use, it would be only too easy for things to turn unpleasant. My previous boyfriend and I had devised a bondage and spanking game one day only a couple of weeks into our relationship, and had been looking forward to it all day. But then he got into a vicious argument with his father, and was so wound up afterwards that he said we'd have to abandon our plan, as he daren't have me at his mercy while he felt so angry.
Back to the original point I was making, though...I stupidly thought the guy was going to be okay with me, but no. Well, it was okay at first, but the spankings soon grew heavy and with my then inexperience, I couldn't handle it. I said my safeword, and he ignored it.
This last part was repeated 3 times before he finally took the hint.
Anyway, after that, I was gone. I found the strength to tell him to fuck off. And this is coming from a self confessed spineless pussy.
He didn't like being told to fuck off, but didn't try to force me to stay. Instead, he spread a load of vicious rumours about me, told my parents another man had got me pregnant while I was still with him, and tried (unsuccessfully) to turn my best mate against me; he sent a text to my mate's phone, but my mate had left his phone at mine. And while I don't make a habit of reading other people's texts, or condone it, seeing this guy's name on the screen worried me, and so I deleted the text and to this day, my mate still doesn't know it was ever sent.
I'm not trying to use scare tactics here, but am just trying to explain that I do have a vague idea of how Sarah must feel. So Sarah, please, just finish with this man. Yes, it will be scary at first, but you will be quick to realise that it was the right thing to do.
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