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Johnob: "She wants me to surprise her without talking too much about what is going to happen." That's great, but she's putting a huge pressure on you as an inexperienced dom. She's essentially asking you to read her mind, find out what she does and doesn't want you to do, and then do what turns her on. That's not likely to work very well. This is a common problem with subs--many of them want the amazing mind-reading dom.
I agree with Smallest--have a conversation with her about what she does and doesn't want and what you do and don't want. Make sure that she's not going to freak out if you do some of the things you want, and make sure that you're ok doing the things she wants you to do. She wants some surprises, so you don't have to do exactly what she wants, but you do need to make sure that you don't do things that are going to really upset her.
Get a pair of police cuffs--they're easily available at most army supply stores and cheap (I think the FAQ has comments about how to tell real cuffs from fake cuffs). If you make sure you use the double-lock to prevent tightening, you're unlikely to harm the sub. Just having the wrists bound makes most subs feel very vulnerable and controlled and you can get them off quickly if something goes wrong. If you know you're interested in rope bondage, get Jay Wiseman's Erotic Bondage Handbook.
My standard first scene with a new sub goes something like this: I make the sub stand in the middle of the room while I sit down. I order the sub to remove their clothes one piece at a time. ("Take off your shirt. Ok, now your shoes...") Once they're down to underwear, I stand up and slowly walk around them, examining their body. I run my hands over their body, squeezing or stroking a bit. Sometimes I make comments ("nice ass. But your chest needs work.") I pull their underwear down and explore--finger the asshole and genitals. Eventually I stand right behind the sub and reach around with one arm to grab the opposite shoulder (putting my arm across the throat, but actually pressing on the throat in any real way). I ask the sub the safe word, to make sure they remember it, and then I say "good, because unless I hear that word come out of your mouth, I'm gonna do whatever the fuck I want to you."
The point of all that is to make the sub feel extremely vulnerable, under my control, and slightly intimidated. Sometimes I comment about how aroused the sub is or how nervous they are. Sometimes I use derogatory words, which starts to get into humiliation play.
Then I make them kneel and often I restrain their wrists with rope or cuffs. This whole time I'm completely clothed. I order the sub to kiss and lick my boots, and after a minute I usually push their face into my boots, telling them to show me how badly they want to please me. The idea here is to give them permission to let out their passion and arousal. Sometimes I spank or use on crop on them if I think they're not being enthusiastic enough.
Eventually, I let the sub stop. I grab his hair and drag his head toward my crotch. I ask if he really want to see my cock. He says yes, naturally, and I tell him to chew on it through my pants, saying if he wants that cock, he's gonna have to earn it. Eventually, I take my cock out and make him suck it. Sometimes I hold his face just an inch from my cock and make him beg for it.
If you're nervous, use that as a template for the scene you want to do. You can add more verbal abuse if the sub likes that, or drop out the boot licking if that's too much humiliation for the sub. If the sub wants pain, put her over your knee at some point and spank with your hand, or trying pinching her nipples during the inspection (start gently and slowly increase the pressure until she begin to make a noise or suck in her breath; then ease off for a few moments and try again). If you decide to fuck her, my advice is either remove the handcuffs, or open them, bring her wrists to her front side, and cuff them again. This eliminates the risk of putting pressure on her arms and wrists, and you can easily control her hands just by grabbing the cuffs. She's not totally immobilized, but she'll feel controlled while you fuck her.
Notice that in this whole scene, the only special gear you need is a pair of cuffs (or if you want, you can learn from Wiseman how to do a simple wrist tie). You don't need to spread-eagle her, which is going to require you to learn a lot about bondage for your first time, and you don't need lots of special toys. As a new dom, you're going to have your hands full just developing the confidence to order her around and be dominant; you don't need the worry of things like "am I tying these ropes too tight?"
After the scene is over, cuddle with her and ask her what she liked, what you could have done better, and what she might want more of next time. I ask some form of these questions to every sub I play with, even the slave I've been training for 10 months. They help you gauge the sub's enjoyment, help you figure out what you're good at and what you need to improve, and help you think of what you might want to add the next time.
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