Ideas for beginners

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by ritualeclipse, Oct 8, 2012.

  1. ritualeclipse

    ritualeclipse New Member

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    Hi all,
    Myself and my girlfriend are new to the whole bondage thing & we need some advice.
    We have been together for 3yrs and we’re beginning to explore the world of sub & dom roles.
    She has discovered that sexually she’s submissive and I have taken the dom role, and that suits us both sexually.
    We’re wanting to explore the world of restraints and tying her up while I have my way with her.
    But the problem here is, we don’t want to be spending large amounts of money on suspension equipment and frames etc. I’ve found a few things online that I would like to get (this for example™-Long-Suspension-Bar.html) but the problem is where would this be suspended from? Would it be an idea to find a supporting beam on the ceiling & have an O ring or something screwed into the beam? What is the best way to go about this?
    On my pay day we are getting body restrains, ball gags etc but also want something which can hold her while tied up standing up right with her arms tied to something on the ceiling.

    Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated. We are both adults over the age of 25 and we both have a major thing for restrains etc.

    Thanks in advance.
  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    DO NOT start your exploration of bondage with suspension play. Suspension play is the most difficult, advanced form of bondage there is. It is to bondage what deep-sea diving is to swimming. There are significant risks to suspension play, including dislocated joints, broken bones, back and neck injuries, unconsciousness, permanent nerve damage, and in some circumstances heart attacks. Here's a simple test to see if you're ready for suspension play. Define the following concepts:

    Orthostatic intolerance
    Radial/brachial nerve compression
    Harness induced pathology
    Suspension induced shock
    Restraint asphyxia
    Positional asphyxia
    Excited delirium

    If you cannot define these concepts and know how to avoid them, you have no business trying to put a sub into suspension bondage.

    Suspension play should never be done without getting some training from an experienced bondage master. If suspension turns you on, that means you have a serious course of study ahead of you. Seek out a bondage mentor and spend a year or two practicing bondage. I've been doing bondage for three years and I haven't even begun to consider suspension bondage yet; I may never try it.

    Start with the basics. Get Jay Wiseman's Erotic Bondage Handbook and read it through. Take the section on safety VERY seriously. Bondage is the branch of BDSM that is most likely to kill and injure subs.
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2012
  3. ritualeclipse

    ritualeclipse New Member

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    Sorry, I'm not exactly wanting to suspend as such. Just have tied up. Not hanging from anything. Just kind of tied to something above her to keep here there with her arms tied up above her. Sorry I should have clarified. I'll just be starting out with oral and playing/spanking etc whilst tied up, rather than messing about with suspension and asphyxiation etc.
    Thanks for your reply though, & I will check out that book you recommend.

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    Yes - I totally agree with Sebastian. One of the problems is that a sub in an excited state may not feel some of the warning pains that signal tissue damage.

    Here's a thought. A friend of mine bought an "inversion table" on EBay in the UK for 40 pounds. He had to collect it, of course.

    I did a quick search and there seem to be plenty of them. It seems a lot of people buy them and then get rid of them after only a few uses, so it would probably end up a lot less expensive than your spreader bar.


    If you use one of these then you could safely "suspend" your girlfriend upside down!

    Her pussy would be perfectly presented for teasing, and of course her mouth might be just the right place to give you a BJ :)

    You don't even need to invert her. Once she's secured to it, you could lay her flat - and "operate" on her, or bring her upright and do unspeakable things to her nipples.

    This would be a good way to conduct an electrical interrogation scene.

    If you have problems hiding it - just tell people you have a bad back. That's what my friend uses it for :)

    Warning: adapting "regular" objects for BDSM should always be done with care. The leverage of a human body weight on one of these frames is really, really powerful unless she is perfectly balanced. So practice with it for a while without tying her up, and get used to which parts are moving in relation to the others.

  5. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    Ok, I'm glad to hear that. Keep in mind that keeping her with her hands above her head for more than about 15 minutes is a bad idea. Her hands will go numb and her circulation will be affected. So plan to alter her position significantly after about that long.

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