I don't think...

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by submissive89, Nov 16, 2010.

  1. submissive89

    submissive89 New Member

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    i will ever find someone to want me as a slave. Ive looked around a lot of places and just cant find anyone who would want and overweight tomboy as a slave. even if i can be the most obedient slave.
  2. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

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    are you hideously disfigured? Or into necrophilia?

    Just because you haven't found someone yet doesn't mean you never will. Aren't you like 21? Calm down, your life isn't over.
    If the overweight thing is really bothering you so much, why not lose some weight? It sounds shallow and conforming to perceived gender stereotypes that women need to be slim in order to be attractive (though it can be applied to men as well) but you dont exactly have anything to lose (ha ha! My jokes are so funny)

    Unless you're talking about the tomboy thing? I dont really see how being a tomboy stops you from being a submissive.. Are you into reverse cross-dressing? Like, being forced to wear skirts and make-up and all that? Sounds like oodles of fun!

    Basically dont despair. You're pretty young, and if its really bugging you THAT much then you could always try changing a little bit (i mean, dont compromise everything you hold dear)

    there's a great thread about losing weight in the off-topic section if you're interested in that
  3. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

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    also, are you using lots of different online SM sites?

    alt.com (which you have to pay freaking money for), fetlife.com, collarme.com, etc

    Dont be afraid to be the first person to make contact either, search for people with common interests and send them messages.

    Maybe this is totally useless because you've already done these things, but it doesnt hurt to check!
  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    Sub, I want to second everything that Silly has said. I understand that at your age, no one likes to be told that they're young and that they should be patient, but it's true. It's pretty premature to say that you will never find someone. I can speak as an expert on this. I was 27 before I surrendered my virginity, and 32 before I had my first boyfriend (who turned into my husband, and eventually into my ex-husband). I was pretty far behind the curve, so I doubt it will take you 6 more years, but 21 is really pretty young. Just have experiences and chalk them up to learning about life and sex, and eventually the right dom will come along and recognize your qualities and decide to take you on.

    She is also right about the weight loss thing. I spent two decades refusing to lose weight because I thought that somehow that meant that I wasn't shallow. Sadly, all it meant was that I was overweight and unrealistic. Eventually, after my ex left, I decided that I had a choice. I could stay overweight and hold out for someone who would see past my exterior appearance, but run the risk that I would be single, or I could lose the weight and do what I could to be more physically attractive and raise the odds of finding someone. I chose the second option as the one more likely to get me what I want. I've lost weight and while I haven't found the boy I'm looking for, I've gotten a ton of sex and a lot of experience. You have the same choices I have, only you have the benefit of being 20 years younger. Losing weight will be easier for you. So my advice is to put an effort into weight loss while you're waiting for find the One.

    Good luck. You can do it
  5. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

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    SLP is right. Be proactive. Here's a quote for you... "whether you think you can or you think you cant, your are correct."

    Your negativity is probably the biggest hindrance to you. I know plenty of larger subs and doms, and both carry themselves quite well. For that regard I know plenty of large tomboys, as well.
    If either of those are an issue for you, perhaps you should seek a dom who will help you to better yourself and fit whatever preconceived mold you feel you should be in to be desired. It takes all kinds to make this world go around, I'm sure if you look hard nough you can find a Dom to suit your needs.

    Have you tried the personals section?

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