MIRROR: Download from MEGA
Hi everyone,
Believe it or not this is the first BDSM forum I've ever posted on...this was the only one I could find that wasn't too intimidating and where the people seem real enough to talk to. I don't know what has prompted me to post, i just suddenly feel like I need to be brutally honest with someone, anyone...
As far back as I can remember I've had the need to be truly submissive to one man... I have this fantasy that he will come for me at some completely unexpected point in my life and claim me as his slave. I don't want it to be consensual, i don't want any safe words. I want him to push me to my limits and beyond...but at the end of it when he has trained me as his slave and I am truly his, I need to love and be loved by him.
I realise that this is pretty much impossible, there's no way such a man exists and I'd be too afraid to ever trust somebody that much. I guess I just wanted to express my longing and frustration. I used to think I was weird and perverted but its good to know that there's nothing wrong with how I feel. I still feel guilty though as on the surface my life would appear to be going well, I'm an intelligent student with a promising career lined up, I have friends who I love, a boyfriend who is an amazing person (he's far too nice to ever make me do anything, although he has tied me up on occasion...), and only a slightly dysfunctional family. I'd be prepared to give all this up however for the simple pleasure of serving my master, it doesn't make sense?
Anyway sorry for the huge rant, it's nice to meet you all! xxx
Believe it or not this is the first BDSM forum I've ever posted on...this was the only one I could find that wasn't too intimidating and where the people seem real enough to talk to. I don't know what has prompted me to post, i just suddenly feel like I need to be brutally honest with someone, anyone...
As far back as I can remember I've had the need to be truly submissive to one man... I have this fantasy that he will come for me at some completely unexpected point in my life and claim me as his slave. I don't want it to be consensual, i don't want any safe words. I want him to push me to my limits and beyond...but at the end of it when he has trained me as his slave and I am truly his, I need to love and be loved by him.
I realise that this is pretty much impossible, there's no way such a man exists and I'd be too afraid to ever trust somebody that much. I guess I just wanted to express my longing and frustration. I used to think I was weird and perverted but its good to know that there's nothing wrong with how I feel. I still feel guilty though as on the surface my life would appear to be going well, I'm an intelligent student with a promising career lined up, I have friends who I love, a boyfriend who is an amazing person (he's far too nice to ever make me do anything, although he has tied me up on occasion...), and only a slightly dysfunctional family. I'd be prepared to give all this up however for the simple pleasure of serving my master, it doesn't make sense?
Anyway sorry for the huge rant, it's nice to meet you all! xxx
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