Hi, I'm new and wanted to say hi

babyk87 · Nov 13, 2010

Hi all,

I'm new to this forum have just joined. However, I have been reading the forum for about a month now and have only just got the courage to join you lovely people.

A bit of background first. I am 23 at the moment and have just got married to my wonderful husband. We have been together for 5 years and have both always enjoyed rough sex, but we have taken this further recently when he realised I always enjoy it. However, we are taking things extremely slow due to a very violent relationship I was in when I was 16... physically and sexually violent.

At the moment we are trying things like spanking, ass, pussy and tits. He has choked me and gags me with his hand. Can't stand being tied at the moment but we are getting there. Also recently I have had my turn at dominating him, we both enjoy both sides.

So now for the question... at the moment when I am about to come I sometimes wish he would crop me (we do own one). I know communication is a must but I'm worried he will find it strange that I want this due to my past. Any ideas? Will he like the idea?

Anyway sorry to go on lol.

Nice to meet you all

BabyK

Tumbl3 · Nov 14, 2010

No need to apologize. First off welcome to the forum!

So, my answer to your question: Tell him. It seems like you two communicate very well, and I'm sure if you tell him he will be cautious at first, but once he sees you enjoy it, will be fine.

I can't honestly tell you if he'll like the idea as I'm don't know him, but I don't think he'll find it strange. Like I said, if I know anything about people, he will be cautious and hesitant at first and will probably ask you if you're sure.

It's all about baby steps :]

sebastian · Nov 14, 2010

Yes, just have lots of honest conversations with him about what you want.

If you are going to do choking, you need to read Jay Wiseman's essay on breath control, which you can google. He explains why breath play is extremely dangerous. If you're going to do it, you need to understand just what you're risking.

babyk87 · Nov 14, 2010

Thanks for the welcome guys!

Tumbl3 - thanks for that, might get courage to speak to him about it soon. Meanwhile I have a red ass from his hand

Sebastian - your an awesome safety concious person. So are we! I've read up on everything I could find via google and know how quickly things can go wrong. Luckily we are very in tune with each other and he is always extremely cautious.

Thanks again for the welcome.

Any advice or ideas welcome.

BabyK

sebastian · Nov 14, 2010

Baby: I'm glad you two are safety conscious. A little care can eliminate most of the risk in the basic forms of bdsm. Unfortunately, there's no way to eliminate the major risk of breath play, whicH is a heart attack (not asphyxiation). If you understand that risk and accept it, enjoy!

babyk87 · Nov 14, 2010

Sebastian: Thanks very much for all your concern and advice. If I'm honest its probably not quite choking so much as he holds my neck, it never stops or even seems to restrict my breathing...its just enough for me to know who is in control. Even so we are always careful for obvious reasons...3 quick taps on his arm and he lets go.

There's so much we want to do (I want to do) but we are taking it easy. He also enjoys me dominating him and we have recently purchased our very first strap on used successfully for the first time last weekend. Not sure I did it right but used tons of lube and took it slow. He seemed happy enough. I enjoyed it but do prefer submitting to him

After reading through everything on this forum I feel more confident knowing there are more people out there like us. Knowing I can ask for advice and not be judged is an amazing feeling so thanks to everyone

sebastian · Nov 14, 2010

Baby: It doesn't sound like it's serious breath play. Read Wiseman's short essay on it if you're interested in understanding the issues.

If he enjoyed you pegging him, you did it right. If you want to feel more submissive to him during that, ask him to order you to peg him. He can still be in charge while he's getting fucked.

We're a pretty open-minded group, perhaps to a fault in some cases. But we like to help.

L8NightQ · Nov 14, 2010

Welcome bk

drkangl87 · Nov 14, 2010

just wanted to say welcome

bithboy7 · Nov 17, 2010

hi im new

hi im new too, ive been a member all of 10 minutes

Hi, I'm new and wanted to say hi

babyk87

New Member

Tumbl3

Member

sebastian

Active Member

babyk87

New Member

sebastian

Active Member

babyk87

New Member

sebastian

Active Member

L8NightQ

Member

drkangl87

New Member

bithboy7

New Member

Similar threads