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Well, having triedall your options, I'd have to say at this point, tell him to call you after he's gone through counseling, but until then, the relationship is over.
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Happiness in a vanilla relationship?
- Thread starter Need2Serve
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Moonlight
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Sebastian and Ed: thanks
Need: Yes now I would tell a teenager that it is a horrible idea. My son is your age and he is head over heels with this girl he has been dating. I told him to slow down and live a little first. You are too young. He seems a lot more immature then I was even at 17 though, but I was raised by my mother alone who worked 2 jobs and I took care of myself from 10 on where he got his first taste of taking care of himself when he moved out.
So I will tell you the same thing. Live a little. Make yourself happy and then find someone to add to your happiness instead of trying to find someone to make you happy.
Need: Yes now I would tell a teenager that it is a horrible idea. My son is your age and he is head over heels with this girl he has been dating. I told him to slow down and live a little first. You are too young. He seems a lot more immature then I was even at 17 though, but I was raised by my mother alone who worked 2 jobs and I took care of myself from 10 on where he got his first taste of taking care of himself when he moved out.
So I will tell you the same thing. Live a little. Make yourself happy and then find someone to add to your happiness instead of trying to find someone to make you happy.
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sebastian
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Need: I understand that fear. I have it as well. But I promise you that, at 19, you'll have many more options than this guy. There are tons of kinky guys who are seeking kinky girls like you. You can't directly control when you're going to meet the right guy, so my advice is to focus on what you _can_ control. You've said you're overweight, and that sad reality is that most (though certainly not all) kinky guys want women with a healthy weight (based on your body type and so on). So my advice would be to focus on losing weight. You'll feel better about yourself, you'll attract a wider range of guys and therefore have more potential doms to choose from, and get the other health benefits too. I speak from experience, after the collapse of an 8-year marriage.
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Moonlight
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sebastian: That sucks. 8 years is a long time to be married and split. I have noticed they are a lot more painful then if someone is married only a few years before splitting up.
Need: I got pregnant really young. This is my take on having a child young. I would not ever trade my son for anything but just so you know when you have a child the party is over. At least if you are a good parent it is. Former friends will dump you because you are no longer free to just go out at the drop of a hat. Mind you this comes from a perspective that my friends were either still in high school or early college and they all partied pretty hard. We still managed to have fun when we could get a sitter but you can no longer get an invitation to go out and say sure if you have nothing else going on. You have a child you need to find a sitter for. Also if they get sick you are stuck at home whether you had plans or not. Can you tell more then once we had to cancel at the last minute? Yes and it sucked to look forward to something only to be stopped by a sick baby. Ya I know them hormones are a bitch sometimes but if you can, wait. Live a little. Have fun.
Need: I got pregnant really young. This is my take on having a child young. I would not ever trade my son for anything but just so you know when you have a child the party is over. At least if you are a good parent it is. Former friends will dump you because you are no longer free to just go out at the drop of a hat. Mind you this comes from a perspective that my friends were either still in high school or early college and they all partied pretty hard. We still managed to have fun when we could get a sitter but you can no longer get an invitation to go out and say sure if you have nothing else going on. You have a child you need to find a sitter for. Also if they get sick you are stuck at home whether you had plans or not. Can you tell more then once we had to cancel at the last minute? Yes and it sucked to look forward to something only to be stopped by a sick baby. Ya I know them hormones are a bitch sometimes but if you can, wait. Live a little. Have fun.
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Need2Serve
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@Moonlight- I know, I've heard this baby speech before, I even have a friend who had a baby her Junior year of high school. The bad thing is the reason that is most often given for why teenagers shouldn't have babies is "you won't have a social life/your social life will suffer" and that just doesn't deter me, I don't party, I hate partying to be quite honest, I don't go to clubs (I don't like crowds or loud music) and I don't really have many friends to go do things with ever since I started College. I moved to a completely different state for College almost 2 years ago now to be closer to my boyfriend. He is sadly the only person I hang out with (I have a hard time making friends, once again I'm insecure and most of my free time is spent with him). I have a few friends who I chat with but none that I go out and do things with (I think that I'm not a very likable person due to how much I talk and how I don't seem to have a brain to mouth filter). I'm very antisocial, I have a hard time getting along with people (always have, I had 1 friend in Kindergarten because everybody else was "too stupid" I was supposed to start Elementary school a year early (at the age of 5 instead of 6) but my parents said no because they felt I was lacking socially).
Oh goodness, I should stop replying, I'm making myself sound like a horrible person here ^^. I'm really not that bad, I do have the ability to say good things about myself ^^. Sorry I'm really not trying to make this seem like a pity party, but the brain to mouth thing seems to apply to the internet as well ^^.
Oh goodness, I should stop replying, I'm making myself sound like a horrible person here ^^. I'm really not that bad, I do have the ability to say good things about myself ^^. Sorry I'm really not trying to make this seem like a pity party, but the brain to mouth thing seems to apply to the internet as well ^^.
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subarama30
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Ed- I was not just saying dump him as a knee jerk reaction. I don't think it's hypocritical or harsh to say ditch him. Not everyone who is an ass harbours some deep seated personal trauma that they need major help with and to suggest that he is not liking something in her that he doesn't like in himself sounds great if we were analysing him and trying to help him get to the route of his 'issues' but Need is the one that is asking for help and sometimes people are just assholes and there is no real reason for it.
Now I'm not dismissing him but as Sebastian has said, Need is young and is not married and has no kids so she doesn't have tons invested in this relationship, nor does it sound like she is with him for deep seated love.
Need- I was only 20 when I met my man and no one (including him) thought we would last. They said I was too young and he was too old (20 yr age gap) but 10 yrs and several children later we are still going. He was my first proper relationship really and I never imagined I would still be with who I class as my first proper boyfriend, or manfriend as he is old after all
having said that I would not encourage my children to pick someone so much older than them or to settle down so young. But then I think we often want different things for our children. I would want my kids to enjoy life and figure out who they are before they do the marriage and kids thing. I know I'm lucky but statistically a lot of couples don't survive.
Now I'm not dismissing him but as Sebastian has said, Need is young and is not married and has no kids so she doesn't have tons invested in this relationship, nor does it sound like she is with him for deep seated love.
Need- I was only 20 when I met my man and no one (including him) thought we would last. They said I was too young and he was too old (20 yr age gap) but 10 yrs and several children later we are still going. He was my first proper relationship really and I never imagined I would still be with who I class as my first proper boyfriend, or manfriend as he is old after all
having said that I would not encourage my children to pick someone so much older than them or to settle down so young. But then I think we often want different things for our children. I would want my kids to enjoy life and figure out who they are before they do the marriage and kids thing. I know I'm lucky but statistically a lot of couples don't survive.Keep2share Premium PRO Account
Need2Serve
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I'd also just like to add that while I do want to have a baby, I have wrangled those runaway hormones under control to the point where I now realize that as I am currently in College with a rather ambitious goal now may not be the best time to procreate! So don't worry, this 19 year old won't be purposely getting pregnant!
Sebastian: Right now I'm on my annual 1 month+ vacation to Europe so losing weight isn't really at the top of my list (although I do always lose weight in Europe even though I never watch what I eat, ironically I started developing weight issues right after I moved from Europe to America hm...). But upon my return I shall really start focusing on making a healthy weight my top priority, I really do miss running.
Sebastian: Right now I'm on my annual 1 month+ vacation to Europe so losing weight isn't really at the top of my list (although I do always lose weight in Europe even though I never watch what I eat, ironically I started developing weight issues right after I moved from Europe to America hm...
). But upon my return I shall really start focusing on making a healthy weight my top priority, I really do miss running.Keep2share Premium PRO Account
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Subrama, I speak from personal experience when I made that post. I have very personal feelings regarding just "giving up" on a relationship. It's a personal feeling that because someone is different, or has problems, it's not right to give up right away. But, her next post cemented her attempts to make it work, and that fell on deaf ears, so at that point, the relationship is more poison to her than fulfilling.
But at 19, yeah, life has a lot of lessons. I heard on a radio one time that a woman compared being 30 to 40, and maturity. If you back that up to 9 and 19....you get the idea.
But at 19, yeah, life has a lot of lessons. I heard on a radio one time that a woman compared being 30 to 40, and maturity. If you back that up to 9 and 19....you get the idea.
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Moonlight
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ah I see need. I do not get PMS often but when I do oh my god watch out. I am as bad as when I am pregnant and cry at everything, even stupid commercials. I get being hormonal.
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