MIRROR: Download from MEGA So my sub Alex just told me that he doesn't want to do kink now. He just doesn't feel right about it. And he told me that he's 'probably not' interested in me as a vanilla partner. I'm upset, but not devastated about it, but I guess I'm looking for a little guidance about how to process things. Alex was the guy who helped me realize that I was dominant. He offered to submit to me and once I understood what he was offering me, suddenly I started to understand all sorts of things about myself that I'd never fitted together before. So he plays a pretty big role in my mind, even though the relationship was only a couple months long, and much of it was conducted online because of his travel schedule. A big part of what I'm trying to process is the abrupt loss of control. Up to today, I had control over him and was starting to think of myself as his owner (at his urging). Now I don't have control. But being his dom is about controlling him, so there's a big disjunction in my head between what's happening and what's supposed to be happening. Do other doms have trouble with the loss of control when a sub decides to end the relationship? Any advice or thought about how to deal with that?