MIRROR: Download from MEGA
I posted before, requesting some last minute advice before my first scene. I was nervous, but it went great! I used some of the advice I found in the FAQ, such as making him undress and inspecting him, phrasing my questions to make him aware of what I was doing ("You like that, don't you?" as opposed to, "Do you like that?"), and some other things. It went wonderfully. He was obedient and didn't need much correction, and he said I sent him half way to subspace. I'll take that as a compliment, especially considering it was my first time dominating!
A few days later we were talking and he said he wants me to dominate his life some. I asked him if he was sure he was ready to take orders from me daily, and he said yes, as long as I don't interfere with his daughter or job. I'm perfectly fine with that, I wouldn't want to anyway. His happiness is important to me, and I don't want to disrupt his life in any way. It's just that I'm not sure what I should be doing.
For example, I told him I want him to text me before he goes to bed (we communicate primarily through text), and he said, "lol ok" instead of, "Yes, Ma'am." It surprised and confused me. I was caught off guard, and I can't remember how I replied, but I think I should have corrected him, and I'm kicking myself now for not doing it. I have no idea what kinds of orders I should be giving, or what I should do if he disobeys. We can only see each other once every couple of weeks, and that makes it hard to correct him immediately.
Another example would be once when we were sexting, he started being a brat. I know he was doing it to get a rise out of me and make me be more aggressive because he was trying to get off, but now I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't have let it work for him. I basically rewarded him with an orgasm for allowing him to use brattiness to get me to act the way HE wanted. Later I told him he was going to receive a spanking for his insolent mouth, and he said spanking won't work for him. I told him to elaborate and he said he just doesn't like it. I pointed out that it wouldn't be punishment if he enjoyed it, and he said something like, "No, really, I don't like it." I told him it displeased me, but I would think of another way to punish him. I said that because we're still at the beginning of this relationship and I feel like I'm still learning his boundaries. Was that right?
He is the first person I've ever sincerely dominated, not just mild play, and it was his first time being fully dominated. Also, we're both switches. Only he wants to be dominated daily, and I only want to be dominated occasionally, and in the bedroom. I really, really want this though. I want this to work. I want to make him worship and adore me, and have him as my toy, or pet. I want him to be constantly reminded that he belongs to me. Beyond that, I want to please him. One of the reasons I want to dominate him is because he wants me to, and I want to please him by doing so.
I dunno, I just feel kinda lost. Maybe we need to have a more detailed discussion about what aspects of his life I can dominate? I'm worried about having a conversation like that because I don't want to ask him for what he wants. I'm pretty sure that would take away from feeling dominated. Do I just need to be more aggressive since he already told me about his daughter and job? Maybe I need training as a sub, so I can learn to train him? I'm afraid I'm being too timid and he's going to lose confidence that I can dominate him. I don't know. Any advice or observations or anything at all would be appreciated tremendously. I really, really want this to work!
A few days later we were talking and he said he wants me to dominate his life some. I asked him if he was sure he was ready to take orders from me daily, and he said yes, as long as I don't interfere with his daughter or job. I'm perfectly fine with that, I wouldn't want to anyway. His happiness is important to me, and I don't want to disrupt his life in any way. It's just that I'm not sure what I should be doing.
For example, I told him I want him to text me before he goes to bed (we communicate primarily through text), and he said, "lol ok" instead of, "Yes, Ma'am." It surprised and confused me. I was caught off guard, and I can't remember how I replied, but I think I should have corrected him, and I'm kicking myself now for not doing it. I have no idea what kinds of orders I should be giving, or what I should do if he disobeys. We can only see each other once every couple of weeks, and that makes it hard to correct him immediately.
Another example would be once when we were sexting, he started being a brat. I know he was doing it to get a rise out of me and make me be more aggressive because he was trying to get off, but now I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't have let it work for him. I basically rewarded him with an orgasm for allowing him to use brattiness to get me to act the way HE wanted. Later I told him he was going to receive a spanking for his insolent mouth, and he said spanking won't work for him. I told him to elaborate and he said he just doesn't like it. I pointed out that it wouldn't be punishment if he enjoyed it, and he said something like, "No, really, I don't like it." I told him it displeased me, but I would think of another way to punish him. I said that because we're still at the beginning of this relationship and I feel like I'm still learning his boundaries. Was that right?
He is the first person I've ever sincerely dominated, not just mild play, and it was his first time being fully dominated. Also, we're both switches. Only he wants to be dominated daily, and I only want to be dominated occasionally, and in the bedroom. I really, really want this though. I want this to work. I want to make him worship and adore me, and have him as my toy, or pet. I want him to be constantly reminded that he belongs to me. Beyond that, I want to please him. One of the reasons I want to dominate him is because he wants me to, and I want to please him by doing so.
I dunno, I just feel kinda lost. Maybe we need to have a more detailed discussion about what aspects of his life I can dominate? I'm worried about having a conversation like that because I don't want to ask him for what he wants. I'm pretty sure that would take away from feeling dominated. Do I just need to be more aggressive since he already told me about his daughter and job? Maybe I need training as a sub, so I can learn to train him? I'm afraid I'm being too timid and he's going to lose confidence that I can dominate him. I don't know. Any advice or observations or anything at all would be appreciated tremendously. I really, really want this to work!
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