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So there are essentially four areas of d/s play, and it will help you to figure out which ones you think you're interested in, so you can talk to a prospective mistress about what you'd like. Control involves the mistress giving your commands you have to obey: she will probably demand specific sexual services from you without necessarily reciprocating, or she may require non-sexual domestic service, like house cleaning. Bondage involves tying you up with ropes, chains, straps, cuffs, blindfolds, and other more elaborate means. Pain play involves her inflicting erotic pain with her hands, crops, floggers, whips, tit clamps, clothespins, hot wax, electro, pinwheels, and so on. Verbal abuse and humiliation involves her insulting you, making fun of you, forcing you to wear degrading clothing, to let her piss on you, to let her friends watch her abuse you, and more. Each one of these has a wide spectrum of activities, and what I've mentioned is just some of the more common things. So think about the things that turn you on, either in that list or in the videos you've seen, or in the fantasies you've come up with in your head.
Enjoying one facet of d/s play doesn't mean you will necessarily enjoy any of the others. You might like bondage but not pain play, or you may find that you like extreme humiliation and therefore you enjoy bondage when it's coupled with humiliation but not all by itself. You don't need to figure out everything; just have an idea of some of the things you'd like to discover.
Make contact with the d/s community in Glasgow and explain to whomever you've met that you're very new and would like to meet a mistress who has a good reputation and would be willing to train a newbie with no real experience. Ask around and get some names of women who have a reputation of being skilled and safe. This is important. You don't want to offer yourself to just anyone. Make sure that you approach someone who is considered to know what she is doing and to know how to it safely.
When approaching a new dom, be extremely polite and deferential. Explain that you're inexperienced and that you are hoping that she would be willing to take the time to train you. If she says no, simply thank her for having considered you. Don't badger her; she is entirely within her rights to turn you down. You might ask her if she has a friend who might take you on. Eventually, you'll find a mistress who will accept your submission.
A few things to look for in a mistress: she ought to ask you what you're interested in and what activities you are and are not willing to do. She ought to agree to respect any hard limits you wish to set (so if you tell her that you absolutely do not want to be pissed on, she ought to respect that limit). Before you play, she ought to tell you the safe words that she wants you to use. If she doesn't mention them, ask her what safe words she uses. If she doesn't question you about your limits, or she doesn't give you safe words, or tells you she doesn't use them, don't play with her. She is either too advanced for you at the moment or she's not playing safely. Even though you will be serving her pleasure, you have a right to enjoy the experience as well, so you want to see signs that she is paying attention to what will arouse and please you. So if she seems disinterested in what turns you on, you probably don't want to play with her (although this is tricky; many doms want to project the image that they don't give a damn about their sub's pleasure, because subs often find that arousing, when in fact they care a good deal about the sub's pleasure). And again, look for a mistress who has a reputation as a skilled and safe practitioner. In this community, reputation is important. Listen to what people say about your prospective mistress and take it seriously (although there is always room in this community for jealousy and bad blood).
Ultimately, even though the dom is in charge, remember that your consent is fundamental. Particularly when you are getting started, you have a right to stop play at any time if you start getting scared or overwhelmed or if what she is doing becomes physically or emotionally unpleasant. That's why safe words are so important--they let you stop the scene and communicate your discomfort to the dom. Any dom who will not respect her sub's wishes to stop is not a dom you should play with.
Insist on meeting the dom in a public place before you play. If she seems creepy or unsafe, don't play with her. Do not go to her place or your place to play without telling someone you trust where you will be and who you will be with. If she won't give you her actual first and last name and a phone number, she is probably not someone you want to play with. Make sure she knows that someone else knows you're with her. These are basic safety precautions that you need to use the first couple times you play with her, until you've learned that she is safe and sane and respects your needs and wishes.
I'm sure that others on the forum will have their own ideas of what you want to look for, and they can probably suggest other strategies for finding a play partner. Good luck!
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