MIRROR: Download from MEGA
While I believe it violates FL's spirit of not attacking other member's, I think it's essentially saying something that quite a few folks have already implied- violation of consent is not rape, it's your fault if you didn't communicate clearly.
I've noticed that 50% or more of FL users are not very educated in kink. They decide one day that they are into it, and it seems like they could care less if they know anything about it. They just slap a label on themselves and expect others to play with them. And they do, and I have personally known people who have made BAD mistakes. These users, IMO, need a good example. Fetlife isn't giving it to them.
The message should be "This is what consent is. Even when in a play session you're brutally raping someone, you need to have it at all times. If not, you're not a kinkster, you're a rapist," and "Even the most lowly of submissives deserves to have their voices heard when it comes to consent, and having "no limits" might make you a more desireable play partner, but ignoring your own limits automatically makes you very uncool." The message should basically be "Konsent is Kewl!"
However, for the sake of the Doms, who, for example, are put in Sebby's situation with a psycho sub, names should not EVER be allowed to be used on Fetlife- not even in good light. There are plenty of folks that won't show their faces on Fetlife. So just make that a policy and there goes that issue.
But usernames, however, do not harm anyone. If you don't want to be traced from your Fetlife to yourself in real life, don't put the info out there. If a Dom abused me, I would NOT shut up. Every single friend on his list would get an email from me, and I wouldn't care if I was labeled a psycho sub. The issue of being abused when you're vulnerable hits too close to home (many of my dear family and friends were sexually abused as children), and I won't tolerate it happening to me in a situation where I should be able to feel safe.
It sucks when people are falsely accused... But as a switch, I can't help but think what would be worse? A footslave falsely accusing me of abusing her and having myself labeled as an abusive on Fetlife? Does that matter? I can just go on Collarme or Craigslist or pick up another subby at a local munch. But what if a Daddy Dom decides it's OK to do something I'm NOT okay with? What if he cuts me or burns me? FYI, I don't have health insurance. Once someone violates my consent, any sexual activity thereafter would feel like rape for me. So I'm injured in a way that was NOT okay with me, have to explain the marks to my family and friends, somehow pay for the hospital bill to get myself sewed back up or take care of an infection, have just been raped and also must deal with the psychological issues? That would just really mess up my day. So yeah, I would rather be the falsely accused Domme.
I feel as though, just like with rape, it's awful when people lie about something like that, and it makes the real accusations less believeable, BUT... just like rape, would you tell an alleged victim that they are lying? How would you feel if someone did that to YOU? Usually, the default is to believe the person, because, as a decent human being, you realize that if she is telling the truth and you don't believe her, that's really going to fucking suck for her. Therefore you default to belief. The same should go for accusations of violation of consent.
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