After a positive experience the other day I thought we might have finally cracked it but once again I was wrong. My guy was showing massive interest, admitted to trying to do research solo and asking me all sorts about what I wanted, potential toys to buy etc. I was so pleased but said I found it easier to express myself in writing so emailed him. Big mistake. I thought it would be helpful to be very specific, maybe even a little technical about what I liked and why. This was inspired mainly because he noticed bruises on me and had asked why I didn't mind when I said I like them. In his mind he'd said he sees it as hurting me so I wanted to show him why it wasn't like that. He reacted badly to what I wrote, said I was way more seriously into all this then he thought and so experienced I could write a book and he couldn't do what I needed and felt inadequate etc. I was gutted to say the least. He was literally saying he was done with kink. I felt sick at his negative reaction but understood his feelings. He saw it as a criticism of his technique/sexual knowledge. we slept separately. This morning I felt calmer but was worried he was still pissed. He wasn't, in fact he apologised and said he shouldn't have been so harsh but he just worries he can't make me happy. The thing is now, I have no interest in doing anything remotely kinky with him. It's like he snuffed the flame out and I don't feel comfortable opening myself up like that again. This has made him down too, he thinks he's blown it and I'm unhappy with him. I'm not, I feel...I don't know, disinterested and jaded I guess. I just don't know if we can get a happy medium going where he's comfortable doing things and I'm getting my needs met without feeling like a freak?! I know he struggles with the pain part and his love for me. I don't know how to make him see that it's only because I know he doesn't want to hurt me that I let him. It all seems so up and down at the moment. I thought being in a loving committed relationship would make this all easier but it's not. He keeps saying he wished I'd told him years ago, looking back I never felt the time was right and I don't think he would have handled it any better then now. It's just seems too much right now.