I had a small breakthrough as a dom today, and I guess I'm writing this to help me process what happened. So I met a prospective sub for coffee. Smart guy, but I couldn't see a sub in him, Normally when I know a guy is submissive, I can start seeing it fairly soon. But I wasn't seeing it, and consequently I was having trouble 'getting my hook' into him, by which I mean I wasn't establishing who was in control. But then I realized that he was intellectualizing everything, talking about his experiences very analytically, and using that to buffer his feelings. So I pointed out what he was doing. He got a very startled expression on his face, and then said, "well, I suppose you're right," and proceeded to try an analyze what I had said. "And you're stilling doing it, boy," I said. "I'm not gonna allow that. You're gonna feel what you're feeling." He got very quiet, and his body language changed. He sat back in his chair a little bit, like he was a little bit intimidated, and his eyes got that puppy dog sub look. "Yes, sir." At that point, I knew I'd gotten my hook into him. He was very submissive the rest of our chat. After I left the coffeeshop, I felt amazing. I'm still not sure why. But something about seeing what he was doing and taking control to prevent it and guide him into his submissive side felt truly dominant, like I had the right to shape him as I wanted to. It made me feel powerful and confident in a new way. Maybe it confirmed for me that I have dominant instincts and that this isn't just a game I play.