Personal Growth

sebastian

Active Member

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I had a small breakthrough as a dom today, and I guess I'm writing this to help me process what happened.

So I met a prospective sub for coffee. Smart guy, but I couldn't see a sub in him, Normally when I know a guy is submissive, I can start seeing it fairly soon. But I wasn't seeing it, and consequently I was having trouble 'getting my hook' into him, by which I mean I wasn't establishing who was in control.

But then I realized that he was intellectualizing everything, talking about his experiences very analytically, and using that to buffer his feelings. So I pointed out what he was doing. He got a very startled expression on his face, and then said, "well, I suppose you're right," and proceeded to try an analyze what I had said. "And you're stilling doing it, boy," I said. "I'm not gonna allow that. You're gonna feel what you're feeling."

He got very quiet, and his body language changed. He sat back in his chair a little bit, like he was a little bit intimidated, and his eyes got that puppy dog sub look. "Yes, sir." At that point, I knew I'd gotten my hook into him. He was very submissive the rest of our chat.

After I left the coffeeshop, I felt amazing. I'm still not sure why. But something about seeing what he was doing and taking control to prevent it and guide him into his submissive side felt truly dominant, like I had the right to shape him as I wanted to. It made me feel powerful and confident in a new way. Maybe it confirmed for me that I have dominant instincts and that this isn't just a game I play.
 
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decoyicus

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wow you certainly have a nack for getting into peoples heads Sebastian I have red quite a few stories about breaking down a sub with many different methods (Punishment, verbal abuse , humiliation) but never anything quite as quick or as effective as this I hope one day I can be as skilled at this kind of headfuckerie if you didn't already have my respect as a fellow dom you would now
 
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I think that this type of scenario is what establishes you as a truly wonderful Dom. When you get to see that look, hear it in their voice, and watch their movements change, it's got to be the best feeling. For me, being owned or owning someone else, has NEVER occurred or prospered without that dynamic. domination is more than just beating someone up, forcing your desires, or having a slutty person around who just wants you to like them. Sebastian, that's awesome.
 
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sebastian

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Thanks for all the compliments. I think part of why it felt so important is that I've always been very conscious of the performative element of being a dom. There's a fair amount of stuff when I dom not because I really need to do it but because it helps create the right experience for the boy. (For example, when a boy knocks on my apartment door, I usually walk very slowly toward the door because it allows my boots to echo on the floor ominously, which I hope seems a little intimidating to the boy). But I think that, because I've been so conscious of needing to perform a little for the boy, I've sort of felt that my dom persona isn't really a piece of me, but just something I pretend to do. So this experience with the boy taught me that I'm not faking or acting; it's who I am.
 
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