What does 'training' really mean?

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by sebastian, Mar 27, 2010.

  1. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    I've been thinking about the concept of 'training'. At least in the gay community, men often say that they are seeking 'training' or 'additional training' or something like that, and I find myself wondering what those phrases actually mean. On the one hand, 'training' implies a goal; you're training for something, like a marathon or to be an electrician. Used that way, if a guy says he's seeking training, he's looking to develop his skills as a submissive. He's done rope bondage and wants to try mummification, or whatever. He's been a part-time slave and wants to try 24/7.

    On the other hand, this word 'training' can, I think, also simply be a short-hand for a hook-up or sex in any power exchange setting. Playing submissively in any form is 'training'. Used this way, even the most experienced slave wants training simply because that's the thing they crave.

    So what do people think. What does 'training' mean to you? Do you think I'm right in parsing it this way, or do you think that 'training' usually means learning something new and progressing? One reason this has gotten my attention is that I'm a new dom, with only a few months of practice at this. If a guy wants progressive training, I always think "well, what do I know that he would want to learn? I'm still learning myself. How could I possibly offer him some skills or insight when he knows more about this stuff than I do?"
  2. Tumbl3

    Tumbl3 Member

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    I hear "training" and I think 24/7 teaching. Training implies long term for me, while a lesson/learning can imply short term.

    I understand with the dom thing. I am also learning, and it's hard training my sub (and that's not even mentioning disciplining) at times. I'd say, just go with your gut and go with the basics. For the most part I've been feeling my way along on learning to dom and (so far) I am doing a good job.

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    When I go about training my slave or a sub, I'm training them to be what I want from them.. training them to please ME.. training them to MY rules, MY desires, and to fulfill MY needs. Progressive training is just stepping up the difficulty level of my demands/desires or the situations he finds himself in.

    An experienced sub/slave may know how to serve, but he doesn't know how to serve YOU! Those are the things you know that he doesn't.
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2010
  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    That's a really good point, MA. I hadn't considered that specific angle. I like it, because it reinforces the dom's side of the equation. Thanks.

    Tumbl3, I've never seen a guy post that he wanted a "lesson". Is this a term used in straight profiles?
  5. Tumbl3

    Tumbl3 Member

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    *sheepish grin* No. I go off on tangents sometimes and since he mentioned short-term, I instantly thought of lesson as a substitute word. And now that I think about it, it sounds awkward.

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