Hi Alex,
I tend to sub these days, but I started out as a Dom in BDSM.
In those days there wasn't the same level of expectation from subs, because BDSM was still very new. In fact, partly because I tended to meet ladies who were a little older and wiser, they actually appreciated the fact that would be honest and open about how the games would unfold.
One of the simple tips I could give you if you have a period of planning a meeting with your sub is to play at writing a simple story or scene by email in the days or weeks before your live meeting. Get her to contribute ideas about what she would like.
This is fun even if you don't actually meet physically, and can be the basis of some great sexy phone calls.
At the time I was a Dom, the X-Files was really popular, and the lady I was seeing bore a passing resemblance to Dana Sculley (red hair, American lady, athletic body).
Since we usually saw each other on business trips, "Dana" would have a business suit anyway. And we started to use the idea of her being captured by the bad guys, and (very slowly) interrogated.
The great thing about interrogation scenes is that you get an automatic safeword - because you're asking the sub to tell you information.
Usually we chose three things she had to tell me, so she could take more than one break from the scene.
The actual "torture" was pretty mild by today's standards, but one incident still makes me laugh.
She'd bought a home waxing kit, and suggested I give her a Brazilian while she was tied up. I'd never done anything like that, but I read the instructions carefully and because I'd built up the psychological tension she said it was the least painful waxing she'd ever experienced. So far, so good.
But it still made her scream when I pulled the strip away at one point, and we were in a hotel room near Vienna airport for this "meeting". She wasn't gagged because I needed her to tell me whatever information I was trying to get out of her.
One of the guests must have heard us and called the manager, and it was quite an embarrassing explanation since neither of us spoke much German. It also didn't help that we both had our own rooms (we were on a business trip), so there shouldn't have been two people in that particular hotel room that night. Luckily we didn't tend to use actualy bondage - I always asked "Dana" to imagine she was tied up.
A lot of the explanation took place with the door to the room open, with the two of us wearing the complementary bathrobes from the closet. Several other guests came out to see what was going on.
Needless to say breakfast in the restaurant the next morning was great fun. "Dana" wanted to skip it, but I made her come down with me. She had the cutest way of blushing
Anyway - my point is that this kind of formal scene might help you out. So pick a storyline...
- Evil interrogator
- Dominant school master
- Mad scientist doing some bizarre medical experiment
- Boss and naughty secretary
The possibilities are endless - and it works best if the scene resonates with your sub.
I hope this helps.
Cheers,
Stanley
