Seeking for an advise

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Lucy, May 28, 2011.

  1. Lucy

    Lucy New Member

    Okaye ehm.. Im a 20 yr old boy, virgin in all aspects ... have been playing with anal toys for about 2 years ( have put a 5.5inch ( in circumference ) cock, my fist inside myself .. )
    Id like to try a sex with a Mistress ( domination, spanking, bondage, strap-on, feminisation )

    However theres one thing i am aware about... in everyday life i still want a classic sex with a girl without any fetishes/ bdsm ( well maybe ill still be okay with getting fucked like about once a year =) )

    I've heard that people usually prefer the type of sex they tried for the first time.. Is that true? If i get fucked in skirt and stockings will i prefer such sex to a normal one?
    Is there a risk of becoming a gay ( thats what i don't want for sure ) ?
  2. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    The type of sex you have first is not necessarily what you'll prefer. And you exactly can't 'turn' gay- it might, however, make you realize you already are gay, or that you want to experiment.
  3. Nuka

    Nuka Member

    They say you do remember your first time, and it is true. However, I've found out more with myself with my SO now, than who I first had sex with.

    I think it's a case of in the moment it clicks with what you like and what you don't.

    For instance, you've said you like receiving anal (albeit from yourself) and you want to be dommed by a woman.

    Therefore, I'd say your a potentially bi-curious sub who'd definately be into pegging.

    You're not going to know if you're "gay" or "straight" until you try one or the other I guess.

    I'm sure if he see's this thread Seb will have some things to reccomend/advise.

    But don't treat homosexuality as a disease please, I'm sure you didn't mean it in the "will I turn gay if I like anal" way, as though you could catch it. But yeah, be careful how you term things. If it turns out you're gay, accept it, be happy and find someone who can give you what you want, if not then a dominatrix would probably peg you if you beg hard enough.
  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Lucy, there is nothing particularly gay about anal sex. There is no sexual act that gay people engage in that straight people do not also engage in. Although many gay men enjoy anal sex, many others do not. Some enjoy giving but not getting anal sex. And, in fact, studies have shown that more straight people engage in anal sex then gay people. If we go by raw numbers, anal sex is a far more straight act than gay. And yet somehow gay men have anal sex without turning straight. In fact, thanks to abstinence-only education many hetero teens have started engaging in anal sex under the illusion that it somehow doesn't count as sex and therefore allows them to remain virgins.

    Study after study has shown that homosexuality has a very strong biological component (although it may not be entirely due to biology); one is more or less born straight or gay, although some straight men resort to gay sex, either for pay or because of the absence of women (such as in prisons, the military, or the Catholic priesthood). Many gay men attempt to deny their gayness by marrying women; these men tend to be under the illusion that they can 'choose' to be gay or straight. Sadly, these men, who often seem to be Republican politicians, find themselves unable to ignore their desires and often seek out male sex partners, but they are not 'turning gay', merely indulging their long-denied natural desires.

    So exploring anal sex with yourself or with a mistress will not make you turn gay. If you are essentially straight, you're just going to be a straight guy who likes having women stick things up his ass. On the other hand, it is possible that exploring anal sex will help you accept homosexual desires that you have been trying to ignore. But if you don't show any other signs of repressing homosexual desire (like fantasizing about guys when you're having straight sex), then you're just a straight guy who likes anal sex.
    Last edited: Jun 5, 2011
  5. Nuka

    Nuka Member

    Thanks Seb, I thought you might have a better reply than mine.

    But yeah Lucy, I think it's a case of you prefer the receiving anal from a woman, you haven't mentioned the desire for men at all.

    Perhps if you want more help you could give us more info?

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