"Sadistic" or "Dom" men are just finding EXCUSES to HIT and ABUSE women

handcuff_freak · Sep 14, 2012

One thing that took me a long time to figure out is that you can't judge all people or certain types of people on a few bad apples. I don't know the details, but every person/relationship is different. Finding the right mix or someone you can trust is a next to impossible task. There are abusers out there that treat bdsm as a way to beat women/men, but not everyone does. I still have trouble with the disappointment that comes with being let down by a person I had hopes for. Its ok to be angry at a person, but you shouldn't let that control whether or not you will give the next person a chance to be a real dom.

Hope that helps

Moonlight · Sep 14, 2012

Huge difference. My son's fiance's mother is with a guy that threw the dinner she just made all over the floor then slapped her because it is not what he wanted for dinner. She lives in fear and walks on eggshells for when she does something to make him mad and he will lash out at her. That is abuse.

I am not married to a sadist, so I cant speak for those who do like to inflict and receive pain, but for us is it more for bondage and dominance. There is no hint of abuse in our relationship. Outside of the bedroom my husband wants a partner. There is way more to BDSM then just hitting and whipping.

L8NightQ · Sep 18, 2012

Halloween -

There are many such assholes that convince submissive women to let them do this crap, but before you condemn everyone with that inclination, you should speak to a few true subs.
What you're talking about and what we discuss are two different things, and one of my biggest concerns is for novice submissives who fall into the hands of assholes they don't know before they really understand where they are.

Whatever put you on this tyrade, I sympathize with, but you are attacking many of us who are just as appalled as you.
It's one of the reasons we put together the beginners FAQ, and one of the reasons we exist.
I have never, and would never, intentionally hurt my sub.

"Sadistic" or "Dom" men are just finding EXCUSES to HIT and ABUSE women

handcuff_freak

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Moonlight

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L8NightQ

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