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Ok, then why are you being so disobedient? Keep in mind that power exchange is a fundamental and voluntary part of your relationship with him. If you don't submit, you're not holding up your end of the bargain. You have a choice to be in the relationship and submit, or not be in the relationship and not submit.
Let me be clear. There is a big difference in being disobedient a lot and having problems with one sort of submission. For example, if you're having trouble remembering to call him Sir, then you need to look at why that particular rule is challenging for you. And if you find receiving anal sex is really unpleasant, you have the right to negotiate about that facet of your submission. But it doesn't sound to me like you're having that sort of issue. It sounds to me like you're disobeying a lot. As I see it, there are two likely situations:
1) You don't want to submit as much as you've agreed to. Maybe you've agreed to a lot of lifestyle BDSM (like doing chores for him) and what you really want is just bedroom BDSM (you'll submit during sex, but not outside that). If that's the case, you need to talk with him and renegotiate where and when you'll submit to him.
2) You're a bratty sub, and you're hoping your master will give you rough treatment, like spanking you when you refuse to do the dishes. If that's the case, you need to realize that there are better ways of getting the treatment you want. There is nothing more frustrating for a dom than giving an order and having the sub refuse it. Sure, some doms enjoy overcoming some resistance, but in general, being really resistant is really destructive to a dom's sense of dominance. When a sub actively refuses a command, my immediate response internally is "Oh, this guy doesn't want to submit to me. I need to be egalitarian with him." If this is what's happening, ask your master to work more rough play into your routine, so that you can get those spankings without having to antagonize him.
As I said, some doms like some resistance and brattiness because it gives them an excuse to be rough. But there's a huge difference between that and actively arguing and fighting. If my slave did that, I'd tell him very clearly that the next time he does that, I'll uncollar him, because I only want subs who are willing to make the effort to submit and obey.
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and my master is making me confess this on here... and ask 4 punishment suggestions. i have been bad by arguing and fighting with him a lot, trying to take control, disobeying, and questioning what he does. have been trying really hard to be good but we both think i need a "reminder" and part of punishment is to get suggestions... so yeah... help would be much appreciated. oh and btw i am female.
