thinking of trying some bondage

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by maxxx, Oct 23, 2011.

  1. maxxx

    maxxx New Member

    Hi, my girlfriend and I, were thinking of trying some light bondage play, and was wondering if anyone has any suggestions on what to use, if rope, what thickness, or if not handcuffs. She says she wants my hands to be secure behind my back so that I have to do everything with my mouth. All thoughts are appreciated, thanks, max.
     
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  2. maxxx

    maxxx New Member

    Hi, Supakink,
    Thanks for your response, sorry I should have mentioned I'm a vegan so anything leather is out. In terms of rope, what would be the best thickness, material, and do you know where there is basic information on knot tying? We may look into finding vegan arminders later but at the moment I'm trying to keep it fairly light because I don't want to worry her lol. Thanks,
    Max.
     
  3. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Get a copy of Jay Wiseman's Erotic Bondage Handbook. It is filled with excellent advice, tutorials (complete with drawings) of various knots and positions, safety guidance, and so on.

    You have a couple basic options:
    1) You might start out with using silk scarves or ties to just test the waters. Just don't knot them tightly, because they can become very difficult to undo and can constrict quite sharply. But if you or your partner are not sure you're kinky, scarves are non-threatening and simple to use.

    2) Handcuffs are easy to use, but make sure you get genuine police handcuffs. Do NOT use the crappy imitation ones sold at places like Hot Topic. Real handcuffs always have two, not three, links, and they don't have gothic-style keys. You can usually get them at Army/Navy surplus stores, as well as online, for $20-30 dollars. The fake ones can injure people fairly easily. If you use handcuffs, NEVER put them on someone without knowing exactly where the key is (I just carry the key on my keyring, and I have spares in my desk and toybag). Real cuffs use a standard key, so all keys will open all real cuffs. Use the double-lock to prevent them from tightening, because that can be painful on the sub.

    3) If you decide to do rope, use 1/4" nylon rope, at least to start with. It's the most comfortable on the skin, easy to work with, and looks nice. Get 50 feet and cut it into 6-8 ft lengths, and then tape or singe the ends to prevent fraying. Start with a few basic ties, like tying wrists and ankles, or spread-eagling on a bed. Make sure you have a good pair of scissors, like an EMT shears (available at any good drugstore like Walgreens), in case you need to quickly release the sub. Once you tie off a limb, check every few minutes to make sure it's not going cold or turning blue--if it is, untie immediately. Instruct the sub to warn you if the body part starts to tingle or go numb. In general, it's a good idea to leave the ropes loose enough that you can slide 1 finger underneath--much tighter and there's a good chance of cutting off circulation or doing nerve damage. Never run a rope directly over a joint (although wrists and ankles are an exception). Those are a few of the very basic things you need to know--Wiseman's book covers things in much more detail. Read through the FAQ and a few other guides on the web to get a sense of safety basics--they're not hard to learn, but you need to know them.

    4) You can buy custom-made leather restraints. They are pricier than rope (although simple wrist or ankle cuffs run about $30-50, which isn't bad), and most restraints can only do one thing, but they are safer than rope (assuming they're of reasonable quality), and therefore good for a novice dom. You still need to consider things like not cutting off circulation, but there's less chance of it with restraints than with rope.

    So you have a variety of options open to you. Do some reading and then try things out. Good luck and let us know how you're coming along.
     
  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Oops, in re-reading, I see that your gf is the dom and you are the sub. Make sure she learns the safety basics too.

    When a sub is restrainted but able to walk (as with hands behind the back), the dom should always keep a very close eye on the sub, because if the sub loses balance, he can fall very easily and injure himself. When asking the sub to change position while restrained, the dom is well-advised to keep one hand on the sub for balance, and in case the sub needs help standing.
     
  5. maxxx

    maxxx New Member

    Thanks for your help sebastian, I will let you guys know how it goes :)
     

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