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This may sound weird, but I'm gonna go out on a limb on this one and suggest that this wall you are facing is based on a long term habit with masturbation.
I am also going to suggest that you solve it this way.
First with you, since you are in control. Then with him.
What you're seeing with this (quick come) experience is completely natural and is experienced by lots of folks, actually many... maybe all. The notion that you can do more than just have sex once you tie your sub up, takes a while. The sex is so good because you finally got to physically do what you've been dreaming of, that it's hard not to come right away. But there is so much more.
Your partner cannot help himself and the control is up to you, but you have to gain the ability to identify and control your impulses when you are close to coming.
When you masturbate, get to the point when you about to come, and then give yourself a break. Get used to the process of identifying, stopping, then starting over after a bit.
Eventually you will be able to extend your time to almost as long as you want.
With your partner, you will have to make him help you identify when he is close to climax. When you reach it, back off and make him suffer. He'll come a little, but the leak is ok.
Actually, being a man, this is the best thing you can do for him, since getting him to that point begins the feeling of orgasm, without the ejaculation spasms that force the refractory period we guys have to deal with.
This is one of the base principles of Tantric sex for a man. Control ejaculation... reach a higher/different place in sex.
I agree with Sebastian, that alternating pain play with sexual torment is a really good way to enhance and extend your sessions. Spanking, slapping, or flogging your sub enhances their feeling of helplessness and adds to your sense of control. The additional stimulation makes it even more important for you to learn to identify and delay your point of orgasm, and help him with his.
And like Seb said, it's very possible that your partner is going to be aroused just from being tied up, but as a Top/Dominant, you are responsible for taking advantage of the situation and learning more each time about what your partner reacts to well... and not so well.
Lastly, do a workshop every once and a while (as often as you want) to work on positions, knots and other restraint techniques, and pain stimulus like clothespins/pegs, flogging/spanking, cbt, etc... to get real time verbal feedback on the things you do and use during your sessions. Remember, it's not just what you do... It's how, where, when, how ofter, and how hard you do it.
This is a good time to tell you..... READ UP ON BONDAGE AND PAIN PLAY. You want to be able to hurt him.. not harm him. And not all pain is good pain. You have to know the difference.
Seb just added a post to the FAQ with some excellent books on the subject, most of which I have read. There are also web references on the same subjects for quick study.
All this will help you grow a lot faster in the process, both internally for you, and in your sessions with him.
Hope this helps, and welcome to the forum.
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