LunchHawk
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My goodness disobedient subs? I'm a very good pet to my owner. I wish I could be more disobedient towards him so I would get more punishment.
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punishment ideas?
- Thread starter fluttershy
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fluttershy
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we are not very experincend. in fact this is a first relationship for both of us sm or otherwise. in telling you this my master worrys you will think im underage so i am to asure you that i am 18. we have been in a realtionship since we were 16 and have been gradualy getting into it since shortly after the relationship started. its not neccerceraly realy important things such as mony and houseing. its more little things like my master is hell to lie next to in bed, or that the garbage hasnt been taken out etc. we still live wth his mother so if i did all his jobs it would be realy suspisios and we both get in trouble if he dosnt do it so i get mad. problum is when i get mad i tend to be a bad girl and my master often has to snap me out of it.
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sebastian
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Ok, I think we've gotten to the heart of your problem here. You and your master are not ready for 24/7 yet, not because you're young but because you're not experienced enough as dom and sub. 24/7 is the deep end of the swimming pool, and you need to be in the shallow end. You're not practiced enough at being submissive and deferring to your master's needs and wishes, and he's probably not practiced enough at being in charge and directing another person's life.
So pull back from your attempt at 24/7. Treat that as a goal to move toward when you're more experienced at submission. Start with bedroom submission. Get used to him being in charge there and then gradually add things outside of the bedroom. For example, get used to him setting rules about how you can dress before he starts giving you chores or setting an exercise agenda for you. Add things gradually, starting with the most surface-level things first and then deeper things, more serious choices later.
The point here is that submission isn't easy to learn, even for those who find themselves very submissive. Almost all slaves run into situations where they struggle to submit. Going too fast is probably the biggest mistake that most doms and subs make. Everything in your social conditioning encourages you to keep control, so you need to unlearn that conditioning. This can't happen overnight. This is why you're tending to quarrel and be disobedient.
So pull back from your attempt at 24/7. Treat that as a goal to move toward when you're more experienced at submission. Start with bedroom submission. Get used to him being in charge there and then gradually add things outside of the bedroom. For example, get used to him setting rules about how you can dress before he starts giving you chores or setting an exercise agenda for you. Add things gradually, starting with the most surface-level things first and then deeper things, more serious choices later.
The point here is that submission isn't easy to learn, even for those who find themselves very submissive. Almost all slaves run into situations where they struggle to submit. Going too fast is probably the biggest mistake that most doms and subs make. Everything in your social conditioning encourages you to keep control, so you need to unlearn that conditioning. This can't happen overnight. This is why you're tending to quarrel and be disobedient.
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fluttershy
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ok so we have already been doing it in the bedroom for about a year and a half and been slowly getting more dominating. if were already coptrable in the bed room and he dosnt care about cloths or anything what would the next step be?
EDIT: also how do u think he should go about training me?
EDIT: also how do u think he should go about training me?
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WickedPleasures
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Sebastian pretty much has it covered. As long as you are 100% wiling to make your master "happy" you can start off very slow if you like with very small things. Like hairstyle, certain jewelry, makeup colors, certain clothes that he doesn't approve of whether you like it or not. Real life activities such as your job and family or social commitments are different matter and both you must decide what you will enforce and not enforce at these times.
Example:
My significant other at the time was very willing to try this kind of thing in the beginning so minor changes were acceptable as we were both very new at it anyway. One of the first changes I had her make was she was forbidden to wear undergarments of any kind at any time unless absolutely "necessary" like a work environment. She was to remove them immediately before any contact with me. I the beginning you sometimes forget because it is a new "habit" for lack of a better word. She was checked for compliance whenever we would meet. If she was breaking the "rules" she was asked to remove them immediately and it didn't matter where we were in the car or in public(discreetly of course). She was also not allowed to wear anything to bed at night unless I asked her to or she had a good enough reason for asking me. She was also required to be clean and smooth shaven ALWAYS! or no "benefits" at all. These might seem like small things to most, but it is a way of voluntary conditioning in order to take next steps. Again you must be willing to comply with these small things without question or argument in order to move the relationship along this path or perhaps you just prefer kinky play in the bedroom and that"s as far as it goes. You must decide
Example:
My significant other at the time was very willing to try this kind of thing in the beginning so minor changes were acceptable as we were both very new at it anyway. One of the first changes I had her make was she was forbidden to wear undergarments of any kind at any time unless absolutely "necessary" like a work environment. She was to remove them immediately before any contact with me. I the beginning you sometimes forget because it is a new "habit" for lack of a better word. She was checked for compliance whenever we would meet. If she was breaking the "rules" she was asked to remove them immediately and it didn't matter where we were in the car or in public(discreetly of course). She was also not allowed to wear anything to bed at night unless I asked her to or she had a good enough reason for asking me. She was also required to be clean and smooth shaven ALWAYS! or no "benefits" at all. These might seem like small things to most, but it is a way of voluntary conditioning in order to take next steps. Again you must be willing to comply with these small things without question or argument in order to move the relationship along this path or perhaps you just prefer kinky play in the bedroom and that"s as far as it goes. You must decide
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Last edited:
fluttershy
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random question and is gonna sound stupid. but what about periods? for no underwhere i meen? were deffently willing to start wth little things just having trouble deciding what they should be. my master dosnt care about cloths, nither of us like make up in any form, i already sleep naked, and dont often where underwhere (im forgetful 
) so we are having some trouble desiding just where to start. thx 4 all the help know these are werid senirios.
) so we are having some trouble desiding just where to start. thx 4 all the help know these are werid senirios.Keep2share Premium PRO Account
Smallest
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Well these are supposed to be more suggestions for things that might help, not ideas for you to use specifically unless they work for you. I imagine your boyfriend and you would work out an arrangement for when you're on your period. (or I suppose you could skip it if you're using hormonal birth control, but that's not really a decision to make lightly).
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sebastian
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Once you've established a solid foundation in the bedroom (and 1 1/2 years is pretty solid, as long as you two both feel its working), there are two basic things to do to expand control outside the bedroom: surrendering control on particular issues and surrendering control for periods of time.
By particular issues, I mean giving him the right to say how you are going to handle certain things, such as how you dress, how you groom yourself, whether you work out, when you get to watch tv, etc. Giving up control in these areas can be challenging, depending on what your particular sticking points are. More advanced areas are things like career choices, educational choices, financial control (probably the last thing you should give up, more or less when you see yourself willing to make a life-long commitment comparable to marriage). The goal here is to condition you to being comfortable with not making choices for clothing, grooming, etc. yourself, to learn to defer to his needs and preferences.
By periods of time, I mean spending an extended time (an evening, a weekend, etc.) as a slave, during which period he gets total or near total control. In these periods, he has the right to discipline you however he wants, and to punish you if you're disobedient or quarrelsome (see the FAQ for the way I distinguish discipline and punishment). During that period, you have the obligation to actively strive to be obedient and agreeable. Both of you should consider an argument or a bout of resistance to be be a failure--you've failed to obey, and he's failed to motivate you to obey. After your evening or weekend of slavery is over, you go back to being more egalitarian, and you two discuss what worked, what didn't, and how to improve. You get to tell him what parts made you feel resistant and why, and the two of you try to figure out how to avoid that in the future.
For example, let's say he orders you to do the dishes and you don't want to. Instead of quarreling, you should do the dishes (that what a slave does), but after you're back to being equals, you explain that the order to do the dishes upset you because you were expecting to get to play after dinner, and instead you had to do another chore (or whatever the reason was). That helps him learn that you need clearer incentives--"Slave, do the dishes. When you're done, come to the dungeon wearing nothing but your heels and stockings, because I'll be ready to play with you then." Or if the problem was that you didn't understand his command, he learns that he needs to be more clear about what he wants.
My point here is to gradually expand the power exchange. When a problem develops, the two of you talk about the problem and figure out how to resolve the problem. Early on, there should be a lot of negotiation and limit-setting, but as you two get more experienced and successful, you (fluttershy) work at doing less negotiating and more simply obeying (because you trust him to know where to push and where not to), and you work at dropping your limits to the minimums you need to make it work.
By particular issues, I mean giving him the right to say how you are going to handle certain things, such as how you dress, how you groom yourself, whether you work out, when you get to watch tv, etc. Giving up control in these areas can be challenging, depending on what your particular sticking points are. More advanced areas are things like career choices, educational choices, financial control (probably the last thing you should give up, more or less when you see yourself willing to make a life-long commitment comparable to marriage). The goal here is to condition you to being comfortable with not making choices for clothing, grooming, etc. yourself, to learn to defer to his needs and preferences.
By periods of time, I mean spending an extended time (an evening, a weekend, etc.) as a slave, during which period he gets total or near total control. In these periods, he has the right to discipline you however he wants, and to punish you if you're disobedient or quarrelsome (see the FAQ for the way I distinguish discipline and punishment). During that period, you have the obligation to actively strive to be obedient and agreeable. Both of you should consider an argument or a bout of resistance to be be a failure--you've failed to obey, and he's failed to motivate you to obey. After your evening or weekend of slavery is over, you go back to being more egalitarian, and you two discuss what worked, what didn't, and how to improve. You get to tell him what parts made you feel resistant and why, and the two of you try to figure out how to avoid that in the future.
For example, let's say he orders you to do the dishes and you don't want to. Instead of quarreling, you should do the dishes (that what a slave does), but after you're back to being equals, you explain that the order to do the dishes upset you because you were expecting to get to play after dinner, and instead you had to do another chore (or whatever the reason was). That helps him learn that you need clearer incentives--"Slave, do the dishes. When you're done, come to the dungeon wearing nothing but your heels and stockings, because I'll be ready to play with you then." Or if the problem was that you didn't understand his command, he learns that he needs to be more clear about what he wants.
My point here is to gradually expand the power exchange. When a problem develops, the two of you talk about the problem and figure out how to resolve the problem. Early on, there should be a lot of negotiation and limit-setting, but as you two get more experienced and successful, you (fluttershy) work at doing less negotiating and more simply obeying (because you trust him to know where to push and where not to), and you work at dropping your limits to the minimums you need to make it work.
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fluttershy
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this sounds like a good idea think were gonna try it. i would say the hardest times 4 me to give up control is bed times and anything when im pmsing... realy need to work on the latter... :/ thx 4 helping lots.
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sebastian
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Ok, so your real issues are that you don't like going to bed at a set time, and you get rebellious when you're coming off your period? Perhaps the thing to do is agree that when you're having your period you get a few days off, or with lighter obligations than usual. And perhaps instead of giving you a set time for bed, ask for a window of time during which you can choose to go to bed. "You must get to bed between 10pm and midnight. During that period, you need to make sure the dishes are cleaned and that you've prepared my lunch for work tomorrow. After that, you have free time until bed."
The idea here is to give you room on the things you're struggling with, so that you can focus on learning to be obedient everywhere else. Once you've mastered submission at other times, work on the bedtime issue. "You have one hour between 10 and 11pm to use as you please. You must be in bed by 11pm."
The PMS issue might simply be something you have to work around, unless you honestly think you can learn to tame it. I had a friend in college whose PMS was truly terrifying--she became irrational and angry for two days and then calmed down to normal. But many subs have inherent limits that they just have to accept. For example, a sub with bad knees is never going to be able to truly master the kneeling that we like slaves to do. Often a sub's job restricts the times they're available to serve. So it may be that your master will simply have to accept that you need a few days of light duty each month. Just don't let that become an excuse--you need to make a good faith effort to find what you can and can't do during this time of the month.
The idea here is to give you room on the things you're struggling with, so that you can focus on learning to be obedient everywhere else. Once you've mastered submission at other times, work on the bedtime issue. "You have one hour between 10 and 11pm to use as you please. You must be in bed by 11pm."
The PMS issue might simply be something you have to work around, unless you honestly think you can learn to tame it. I had a friend in college whose PMS was truly terrifying--she became irrational and angry for two days and then calmed down to normal. But many subs have inherent limits that they just have to accept. For example, a sub with bad knees is never going to be able to truly master the kneeling that we like slaves to do. Often a sub's job restricts the times they're available to serve. So it may be that your master will simply have to accept that you need a few days of light duty each month. Just don't let that become an excuse--you need to make a good faith effort to find what you can and can't do during this time of the month.
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