praefect
Member
MIRROR: Download from MEGA
It's something I've been wondering about, and had reason to. I know that submissives always feel like they're the one's that are in a potentially dangerous situation when meeting a dominant for the first time in order to play. But I've been worrying about my side of it.
The "playpartner" (what's the English word for this?) I've set a date with, her I know, I'm not worried about her, but in case I'm going to use the web in the future to find other potential people to play with how do I protect myself from them?
I don't live in a large town, but we once had a small BDSM community here. Around 50 or so people that would meet up regularly, mostly BBQs, or some other place where people would just hang out and talk about stuff, depending on the season, meetings in which my ex and I participated a few times, and sometimes BDSM events, from swinger parties to scene showcases, in which we did not.
At one point one of the members accused another member of... well, I suppose it would basically boil down to rape. She claimed he ignored her safe word and kept punishing her while he claimed he did no such thing. Both were old time members which led to a couple of things happening. First, it split the group. People like my ex and myself left the group, not wanting to have any part in this infighting between two groups of people where only two of them actually knew what really happened and one of them was lying. It led to the death of this tiny community as people first didn't come to meets and then there were no more meets at all.
I don't know which of the two did what, I don't want to judge either, but the thought of being the victim of false claims worries me, a victim of a sub that cries wolf. How do I protect myself from that?
A thought that occurred to me was to record everything, but I can't do that without the knowledge of whomever is being recorded. That would against the law, not to mention unethical. And, honestly, I doubt very much there are many women out there comfortable with being recorded, fewer still who'd enjoy it, and a lot who would either worry about it ending up on the net somehow or perhaps even being blackmailed, not willing to trust a first time "playpartner" with something like that.
So, anyone have any bright ideas?
The "playpartner" (what's the English word for this?) I've set a date with, her I know, I'm not worried about her, but in case I'm going to use the web in the future to find other potential people to play with how do I protect myself from them?
I don't live in a large town, but we once had a small BDSM community here. Around 50 or so people that would meet up regularly, mostly BBQs, or some other place where people would just hang out and talk about stuff, depending on the season, meetings in which my ex and I participated a few times, and sometimes BDSM events, from swinger parties to scene showcases, in which we did not.
At one point one of the members accused another member of... well, I suppose it would basically boil down to rape. She claimed he ignored her safe word and kept punishing her while he claimed he did no such thing. Both were old time members which led to a couple of things happening. First, it split the group. People like my ex and myself left the group, not wanting to have any part in this infighting between two groups of people where only two of them actually knew what really happened and one of them was lying. It led to the death of this tiny community as people first didn't come to meets and then there were no more meets at all.
I don't know which of the two did what, I don't want to judge either, but the thought of being the victim of false claims worries me, a victim of a sub that cries wolf. How do I protect myself from that?
A thought that occurred to me was to record everything, but I can't do that without the knowledge of whomever is being recorded. That would against the law, not to mention unethical. And, honestly, I doubt very much there are many women out there comfortable with being recorded, fewer still who'd enjoy it, and a lot who would either worry about it ending up on the net somehow or perhaps even being blackmailed, not willing to trust a first time "playpartner" with something like that.
So, anyone have any bright ideas?
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