Parties and clubs

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Moonlight, Jun 22, 2012.

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  1. Moonlight

    Moonlight Member

    I have never been to either. I saw some information on them and was curious yet worried I would not react well. Not that I would be grossed out but the experience of everything going on would be overwhelming. But I also fear the unknown in general not just with BDSM.
     
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  2. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    I'm talking about club type parties, because I've never been to a house one. I think you said in the FAQ that you'd seen events come up online, and I'd really suggest you message the admin with your questions and concerns as well, or read the rules the post to get an idea what it will be like.

    One of the concerns you listed was that you wouldn't want to see other subs in pain. In my experience (and generally what I've read and so on), the dungeon is completely separate from other areas, and music is playing, so although there's a rule that subs keep it down (because it is disruptive to others), you ar unlikely to hear them over music. Depending on the size of the club, there could be sitting/eating areas, and a large dance area.

    Everyone will be in different degrees of fetish wear, and there will be more nudity as the night goes on (probably because people can't arrive that way, and besides, a couple hours in leather or latex gets hot).


    I was terrified too before I went, though. Scared of being judged or having someone try to dom me without me wanting it, but it's a bit silly since there are always staff somewhere nearby at those sorts of things, and everyone's pretty fetishy.

    I'll keep going if you have questions, though I'm sure other people will participate. I'm just not really sure where to start.
     
  3. Moonlight

    Moonlight Member

    Oh ok, being able to walk away if and not hear someone in pain would help.

    No barely or not clothed at all would not bother me. Now I wouldn't but that is because I have had two children and major surgery before so I do not like my stretch marks and scars on my stomach.
     
  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    If you're in the play area, you're going to hear sounds of pain. But it's mostly going to be erotic pain sounds--gasps, moans, grunts, maybe some crying--not horror movie sounds of pain. You might hear people begging for mercy and similar things. But if there are some hardcore pain players, you might hear some intense screams. You should always be able to leave the area (unless you're currently in bondage), but depending on the size of the site, you may not be able to completely avoid those noises even in the lounge. There may well be music playing to cover the sounds, but I don't recall any music at the club I was at. Of course another option would be to bring an iPod and headset and listen to your own music (some doms use that for sensory deprivation play anyway). But if hearing sounds of pain is likely to really distress you, you may not enjoy clubs and parties. My suggestion is to go to one to check it out, but be prepared to leave if you feel uncomfortable (in other words, don't set your heart on playing all night your first time. Consider it mostly a learning/observation opportunity. Then decide if you want to go back and play next time.)
     
  5. Moonlight

    Moonlight Member

    Good idea. I am apart of a group that is an hour and a half away from me. I talk to them and they are fun to talk with so I am not worried about the people at all. Another friend of mine wants to go but like I said I am curious yet apprehensive. I told her that is a long drive to need to turn right around and leave. I think I would be more embarrassed with myself having to say it is not you it is me, I am too damn sensitive.

    My best friend who is also apart of the group wants to go. I asked my husband if he wanted to but he doesn't. I am more outgoing and social then him anyways and add in he works long hours on his feet dealing with people all day. When he gets home he wants a glass of tea his recliner and the remote. But he does not care if I go with my friend. Neither of us are jealous people.

    I had a conversation with my friend about the ethics of friendships and when they turn to affairs when she first brought up starting to actually get involved. Both my husband and myself already have friends we talk to. Neither one of us get jealous. I am not sure if we just trust one another that much or we are just very laid back about it.

    One time I asked my husband if one of my friends was a gay man and he asked me out to dinner would you be jealous? He laughed and said no, so I said if I had a friend who was a lesbian would you be? He paused for a second before saying no. Then I remembered that he has sent me with one of his male friends to town to buy tickets and while we were out stopped for dinner and he has gone out with female co workers to lunch etc.

    More then once I have been scared of something. I would have anxiety about it then finally go through it and thing pffft that was nothing to be scared of and laugh at myself.
     
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