Me and a friend...

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Speil/leid, Jan 18, 2010.

  1. Speil/leid

    Speil/leid New Member

    Me and a buddy of mine want to be tag-teaming dominatrixes for hire. We think we would be pretty good, I having some on/off experience with being sort of a temp slave, and her having a penchant for flare and presentation. Plus, I make a mean switch. Unfortunately, I can't find any clubs in the Philadelphia area that would pay for our services. I am aware that a dom/sub relationship can become very personal, but I also know that there are a lot of men who would enjoy just a night of good beating. We're not out to have sex, just submit men who will pay for some double domination and pseudo artistic foreplay. Any suggestions where we should start and if it's legal for us to solicit our services? Does anyone know any special sex clubs in the Philly area that might allow us just to do our thing without having to strip or do any typical girly stuff?
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  2. ReallyGreen

    ReallyGreen Member

    Personally I do NOT know of any BDSM club or professional dungeon in the Philly area (That size city should have at least one, but I don't know it).

    Is Pro-Domination legal?: It is in most states. If you are seriously considering this line of work (or any line of work in the "sex-care" business) HIRE A LAWYER to research your states laws FIRST. (example: foot worship and corporal punishment are legal in New York, but strap-on play and golden showers are not).

    As a pro-dominatrix you have two career paths; independant and dungeon.

    Dungeon: A dungeon is a privately owned BDSM play-space where clients can select from whichever doms/dommes are working (and most have multiple 'theme rooms'). The 'girls' (and rarely gay men) typical take-home about half of the customers fee (the establishment takes half and pays utilities, cleaning, taxes, upkeep, consumables, etc).

    Perks to dungeon work: Much larger customer base. Security (no creepy hotels or clients in your apartment). And somebody is watching the phone and dealing with appointments so you don't have to.

    Downside to dungeon work: Coworker drama & bullshit. Asshole bosses. The other girls "stealing" your regular customers. Some asshole stole your leather bra with the rivets from your locker and ate your Yogurt in the fridge. While you don't have to "strip" the basics of the industry are that the less clothing you wear the more money you make.

    Independent: Indy's have two choices, incall (the clients go to your place) and outcall (you go to the clients house or hotel). Indy's keep everything the client pays, but all supplies and overhead come out of pocket. Leather clothing and well built dungeon furniture aren't cheap either.

    Upside to independent: Only have to work on days you want to make money. No bosses (clients can get pretty bossy). You only need a few good regulars to bring-in several thousand dollars a month cash. (Young attractive and poor clients can always get the "student/military discount")

    Downside to independent: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Need separate cellphone & email for work. Customers call right when you're ready for bed. Bizarre hours will make babysitters a costly venture. unpleasant customers will be in your house/apartment (or you'll be alone in theirs).

    My advice would be to work for a pro-dungeon for several months before you decide to start your own business venture, that'll clue you in on what the job actually entails on a day to day basis. I'm pretty sure Philly has a daily train to NYC (and NYC has several very nice dungeons you can send a resume to) if you can't find local work.
  3. Speil/leid

    Speil/leid New Member

    Those are all good suggestions! I did a bunch of research and apparently allot of the clubs in the area were closed down some time ago, could be mistaken, though. New York sounds like a great idea! I'll run it by my partner, thanks allot.
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  4. Speil/leid

    Speil/leid New Member

    But I wonder how we would 'advertise', so to speak, if we were to start independently? You know, 'get the word out'. Is Craigslist safe for that?
  5. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

    if your considering New York, Village Voice is a good choice, there's a lot of pro-domme advertisements in there.
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  6. ReallyGreen

    ReallyGreen Member

    Once you discover what exactly is legal to do, then you can start writing a Craigslist ad. Some cities have local webboards that this type of business should also be posted in. But most "traveling businessmen" (People on the down-low from their spouses) will use Craigslist (or backpage, or femdom-dotcom) to search a very wide area even if they don't know the local boards.

    Note: If a customer asks for something illegal (oral sex, strap-on buggery, etc) before they pay you... thats a pretty common police move (most vice cops won't endure a 45-minute horsewhipping just for a misdemeanor bust). Be safe and keep it legal! A lengthy prison term is incredibly unlikely, but any money spent on a defense lawyer is too much compared to simply not breaking the law in the first place. Its not like you'll ever run out of legitimate customers that want to pay you money hand over fist to beat their own meat while they try to fit your whole foot in their mouth.
  7. pepeluism

    pepeluism Member

    As someone who spends a sizable amount of money on profesional Doms, I will say this. You don't sound like you know what you want to do or what you are really doing. I'm sure you can swing it as an independent for a while doing whatever, but as it was pointed out before, what you want is to build a customer base (people who come back and keep bringing you money)

    I can just tell that if I went to you, it would probably end up being the first and last time I went, and that's bad for everyone.
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  8. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

    yep, because good news travels, bad news travels three times as far and twice as fast.
  9. ReallyGreen

    ReallyGreen Member

    I think thats an unfair remark. The OP is a virgin to professional sex work (har har) and everybody has to start somewhere. Again I strongly recommend working in a dungeon or for an already established dominatrix for a period of time. This is because while the OP may enjoy BDSM in her private life the realities of working with paying customers, who all have different expectations as to what their money should buy is something else entirely.

    At this point I would also highly recommend the OP start watching sessions filmed in actual dungeons between real workers and real customers (I have a fondness for RaptureVision). An aspiring dominatrix who's only experience is Hollywood porn is going to be very shocked when she finally gets to work (I liken this to people who want to be an obsterician until they discover real childbirth is about as bloody and gruesome as a disemboweling on a battlefield).

    But if the OP does summon the gall to actually show-up for work and finds she likes it, I wish her the best of luck. Having more high-quality dommes in the world is never a bad idea.
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  10. ReallyGreen

    ReallyGreen Member

    Just for fun: Skills anyone who may want to be a dominatrix should learn.

    1. The REID Technique. The subject of criminal interrogation and confession developed by John Reid is the textbook for police interrogation in the United States. Getting your customers to tell you exactly what they want (without knowing they're doing it) is almost like learning to print your own money.

    2. Urinate on command. In front of an audience. While controlling and stopping the flow.

    3. Acting and voice classes. Everything sounds sexier with a realistic French accent. Everything sounds angrier in German. And since pro-domination can be called "A Disneyworld theme ride for masturbation" the skills to act a good part will keep customers coming back.

    4. Gym membership. This will sound sizeist and assholeish, but if I wanted to be bossed-around by a frumpy hausfrau I could get that for free. Half the reason I give women my business is because they look amazing in a leather cocktail dress and strappy 'gladiator' pumps. (Or leather hip-huggers and DocMartin's). And yes, I've bought the exact same pair of shoes (Promiscuous Temp - google them sometime)for three different women so far. I like what I like, so sue me. :p

    5. Aikido. Or any martial art that specializes in "joint locking". Anybody can handcuff somebody. But if you can keep a 300lb man on the floor with your left hand and not spill your drink ..... Thats empowering and fun.
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2010
  11. Speil/leid

    Speil/leid New Member

    Thank you, ReallyGreen, we will take all of your advice into consideration! As for you, pepeluism, I do dominate casually, and I doubt some people would have the stomach for some of my methods, its understandable. Hopefully the state laws will allow us to perform as close to the legal boundaries as possible.
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  12. ezekeil

    ezekeil New Member

    I'm fairly high up in my local Aikido club - It could be extremely fun for a Dom. It takes a lot of hard work and mental discipline. I'd also reccomend Krav Maga aswell, simply because while Aikido teaches you how to fold someones right elbow into their left ear via anus, and look mighty cool doing so, Krav Maga is systemised arse kicking and much more useful in a "real life" situation (it also teaches you how to take a beating).

    a fun scenario for aikido could be... i dunno, the person A tries to overpower and rape person B, is promptly folded origami-like, then f'd up the a? (sorry, im new to this.)
  13. ReallyGreen

    ReallyGreen Member

    Being a dominatrix isn't a job/hobby that requires a military-level H2H combat system. I'm all for the BoyScout motto "Be prepared", but the reality is that having conditioning to disable a combatant with a heel to the side of the knee is really probably not in the best interest of anyone. TASERs, cellphones, or a .38 snubnose will statistically be all you'll ever need.

    If you want to learn Krav Maga (or Combat Hapkido, Guge Gonji, Kapap, Sansho, Sambo, etc etc etc) I'm not trying to discourage you; Classes are addictive and fun. But assuming you should need to practice this for your job is overkill. It'd be like teaching every highschool senior the OSS 'kabar to the kidney' dispatch method "just incase".

    Really, premeditated assault and attempted murder against professional dommes are astronomically rare. Worldwide there were less than a hundred incidents in the whole of the twentieth century among six billion people. You're more likely to be hit by lightning the day you win the Powerball lottery.
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  14. ReallyGreen

    ReallyGreen Member

    Martial arts bondage (joint locking and wrestling pins) and S&M is an entire established genre of pornography, and with the popularity of UFC and MMAs I imagine there are already pro-dommes and prostitutes specializing in this type of "session".

    For porn check-out FootFighters(dot com)
  15. pepeluism

    pepeluism Member

    I didn't mean that as a put down. Sorry if it came off that way. All I'm saying is that, from what I hear, I don't know that there would be a good first experience. But I could be wrong.

    I agree that joining an established Mistress is a great way to go. I try sessions with "apprentice" Mistresses all the time when they are backed by a Mistress I know and trust.

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