Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by missmasochist, Sep 4, 2012.

  1. missmasochist

    missmasochist New Member

    Hello, I find this site can attract cliché caricatures of both submissive and dominants. I find a general lack of true depth or understanding in those parading around in the shoes of true masochists.I would consider myself a "true" masochist. From the tender age of 13 I felt an instinctual and undeniable attraction to darkness and fantasy, and I want to put a few myths straight.

    - A big misconception that is spread around this site, is the idea that masochistic or submissive females are weak. This is not true. An attraction to pain is almost superhuman, it does not follow evolutionary guild-lines or societal expectations. It is an intellectual activation of the darkness within all of us, the unknown, the wrong, the denied... it is in no way a submission to men.... In fact, that couldn't be further from the truth. I believe, immaturity and misunderstanding causes people to draw that conclusion. If you truly like pain, you will submit to anyone who you feel holds authority over you.

    - Another belief is that mostly women are masochists, wrong. There is a higher number of males who identify as masochists.

    - Masochists hate themselves? It is evident, that masochists do tend show signs of self-destructive and addictive personality types that can push them into sex and drug addiction. Things I myself am familiar with... However, does my enjoyment of pain and submission evidence accusations of self-hate?... Not really. Choosing to inflict pain upon yourself is far more telling.

    - Most pain lovers are actually the successful, the talented, the beautiful and the wealthy... A lack of pain in general life certainly makes it a desirable and erotic escape from reality.

    I just had to clarify a few things, I don't like immature people and I don't like it when their views seem to twist the truth of true bdsm enthusiasts.

    So, I've told you a lot about how I feel, tell me something about you. Anything you would like to clarify? I would love to hear what dominants and sadists love about dominating others? But, yeah discussion is welcome, have a great day :angel:.
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  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Nice to meet you, but honestly, your description of SMplace bears no resemblance to the site I've been posting on for close to three years. I've never seen a post on the site that claims that submissive females are weak, or that most masochists are women, or that masochists hate themselves. If you can point out posts that make that claim I'd like to see them. Some of these ideas do circulate in BDSM circles, and more widely among those who know little about BDSM, but very few posters on this site make those claims. You're welcome to participate in this site and offer your views of what BDSM is about and so on, but please don't make false claims about what people on this site have to say.
  3. missmasochist

    missmasochist New Member

    Well, the last time I used this site I found little truth to true BDSM. Which to be fair, was a while ago... but I still feel these rumours and beliefs are present in many people's minds... those who know BDSM and those who do not. It would be naive to pretend that everyone around here fully understands masochism, because they do not.
    Well, take it further and beyond this website then. These are the misconceptions people generally have about masochism. I wanted to explain how I feel being the recipient of these beliefs.
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  4. Some people here just want to have a good time and play safely; and not get too worried about labels and judgements by others.

    We only get one life, so any chance that people have to be happy, and to help create happiness for others has to be worth considering.

    But if two people share a deeper interest in what you describe as "true masochism" then that's fine too. Come to think of it, I guess one would have to be a "true sadist" to make it work :)

  5. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    MM, I entirely agree with you that the general perception of masochists and subs in general is that they are weak, pathetic creatures. One has only to look at the way subs are depicted in movies: sub men are usually sad jokes and sub women are usually the victims of a psychotic killer. Part of the problem is the BDSM is paradoxical--subs want what they don't want. They (many, at least) want to feel that they are being forced to endure harsh treatment. If you're into BDSM you can make sense of it, but if you're not into it, it's hard to understand why someone would want pain. Until you figure out that there is good pain and bad pain, it just won't make sense.
  6. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    Although I agree with Sebby and Stanley, I think this is a good thread for newcomers to read, in case they come here with those misconceptions.

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