in desperate need of new ideas! please help!

curiousk · Dec 10, 2012

hi, i am in a lesbian relationship and i am the dom. our sex life is great but it seems like we keep doing the same things again and again. we have both only been involved in bdsm for about a year now but as the dom i feel some what responsible for finding new things for us to do, i really want to please her but am running out of ideas of how to punish her, dominate her and pleasure her in new ways. we live about 50 miles away from each other so we see each other when we can so i need ways to still dominate her and make her my slave even when im not there, but when we are together is certainly the more important part for us. we have a few toys: collar with chains and nipple clamps, pinwheel, whip, bondage tape, blindfold, door cuffs(which we find quite difficult to use comfortably), strap-on, vibrators and dildos. we also use ice cubes and hot wax in play which she really likes! i sometimes find myself getting a little stuck with how to punish her and how to talk to her during sex.

I just dont want to bore her with the same things again, i am going to see her at the weekend and would love some new ideas to try.. if anyone has any suggestions they would be much appreciated

anything that you think we may not have tried with our toys, or different roles, poitions, punishments..... anything

thanks in advance hope someone can help!

curiousk · Dec 10, 2012

also if anyone knows if any lesbian bdsm learning books that would be great, seems they are hard to find online unless you know what your looking for!

stanley_jeffries · Dec 10, 2012

Hi there.

Being a man I can't promise this will work, but my wife tells me that the vibrations from a Hitachi-style wand are actually too intense for her to come. So it occurs to me that this could be a form of punishment...like continuous edge play. Perhaps somebody with experience could confirm this.

I am also a fan of the Tazapper. http://www.toystoysonline.com/electric2.htm

It's an electric zapper that can be used on nipples because there is no actual current (it's static electricity). I can assure you it's quite painful, and because it can be repeated indefinitely it can be used to drive a sub crazy.

Forcing her to wear a butt plug, and asking for your permission to go to the bathroom. This is, of course, on the honor system, but if you wanted to take it further there is a locking butt plug.

You can use a combination lock on the butt plug for remote domination.

Since you're looking for something for the weekend, you could use Deep Heat (maybe you call it Icy Cold in the US) in sensitive parts. Using it on her clit would be extreme...but if you use it on her nipples or her inner ass cheeks (not her anus itself - again that would likely be too extreme) you might find that "effective".

A funny joke is to tie her, face-up to the bed. Use Deep Heat on her nipples so she's aware of what it is. Then switch to something else that looks like Deep Heat and use that on her clit. Toothpaste is quite effective because it looks like it has been squeezed from a tube, and it will tingle (quite a bit, actually) on her clit. But nothing like as bad as Deep Heat. You need to draw out the threat to use it on her until she's really terrified.

If you're using "chemicals" on sensitive parts of the body, make sure you stick to stuff that has been tested

Cheers,
Stanley

curiousk · Dec 11, 2012

thank you Stanley this is helpful! i will definitely be trying the tazapper

much appreciated!

if anyone could help with different ways to tie with bondage tape or tell me somewhere to look that would be great! can only find things with rope so far.

sebastian · Dec 11, 2012

Have you talked with her about this? She may have her own ideas about how she would like to be punished. Just because you're the dom doesn't mean you need to create all the ideas yourself.

in desperate need of new ideas! please help!

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