My Mistress has dealt with way too much death lately. A friend of hers died suddenly in March, her aunt died in June, and her grandma died last month. She has never dealt with death before now, and her grief process for each loss has been vastly different. The death of her grandma has been the hardest. She has gotten very codependent, and sometimes just plain shitty with me. She puts me in the middle of drama between she and her daughter (sometimes drama she created, sometimes co-produced by the two of them...they don't grieve well together, sadly), she pushes me away (which would be fine if she could TELL me she needs space, but instead she gets mean), etc. - I don't know what to do with this. We have had periods of time when some codependence has reared its ugly head in our relationship, and we usually nip it in the bud pretty fast. She usually recognizes after the fact that she's being shitty to me, but this time around, she has put in zero effort to figure out why it's happening and stop. Our little codependent bumps usually don't last this long. I realize she's grieving, and am always available to her when she needs me...but when she starts getting mean and nasty like this, I've learned to withdraw before she pushes me away. From my perspective, the worst part of this is that when she's lost in her grief to the point where she's being mean, she's not "mastering" me. Or when she is, she's making bad decisions (the other day, she told me to kneel when her daughter was in the next room, and her daughter walked in and saw me kneeling...way not ok...she's only 7 and doesn't understand, nor does she need to). I'm at a loss...I don't know what to do for her. When she's crying or reminiscing, I know what to do...I just have no clue what to do with this new brand of grief. It's crazy-making, and puts me in a terrible position far too often for my comfort. Any thoughts or advice?