My slave gets wet when I get angry. When I get angry, it's a guarantee that I get domineering, bare my metaphorical teeth, so now she finds ways to trigger me. I don't thinks she consciously decides this. It subconscious, and manifests itself in forgetting to do things, such as pay the bills, for example. Or starting an argument about nothing. She triggers me, I get pissed off, I get to a point where I let the id take over and she shudders away in ecstasy. I can't begin to tell you how exhausting that is. Things I've tried include: Corporal punishment. Which is throwing gasoline on the crotch fire. Ignoring her. Which just makes her more needy. Talking to her about it openly. She vows to do better, but nothing gets better. Anything I could think of, really, from open and honest communication to humiliation, degradation, pushing her way beyond the red line into terror and tears, all has shown itself to be reinforcing this behavior rather than curbing it. This wouldn't be so much of a problem if I wasn't so exhausted. I'm emotionally drained. About half a year ago my daughter from a previous relationship died. I'm still dealing with that. Dealing with it again, actually. I thought I was doing better, but as it turns out, grief comes in waves. And one thing that sucks about M/s relationships is that I have to deal with that alone. She can't offer me any emotional support, no more than a child could offer support to a parent. I don't really know what to do anymore. I wish I could take 3 months vacation from this relationship, but that isn't really an option either, now, is it.